AFFAIRCARE

…nouthetic, Christian care after an affair.


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Happiness Month! Day 31: Vivacious

Today is Day 31 of Happiness Month and it is the last day!  Can you believe it?  This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster.  As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life: Vivacious!  A person can sit quietly reading and be very happy, but today be someone who bubbles forth with life and vitality. Increase your happiness by breaking out of the “routine” and being full of life!

The word “vivacious” is an adjective, meaning it describes, and it means:

  • Attractively lively and animated; lively in temper, conduct, or spirit.

When your spouse has had an affair, it can be easy to fall into the trap of constantly wanting to “work on fixing the marriage” or study about infidelity.  But life is not about always “working” and “studying”–sometimes it’s just being full of  joie de vivre…the Joy of LIFE!!  Today be attractive.  Put some COLOR on and be lively.  Put on that KNOCK OUT red dress, those pumps (you know the ones) and some shockingly red lipstick and DANCE!  Wear a banana and some flowers on your head, wrap a sheet around into a saree, and make him laugh.  Or if your a guy, don’t be the man who analyzes the dishes in the sink or the amount of progress you’ve made in the relationship…be the guy who brings home a limo and says “Come on honey we’re going to McDonald’s for dinner!”  LOL!  For this one day, enjoy life and the person with whom you’re sharing your life.

Over the past month, we have gone over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

Beholding Glory


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Happiness Month! Day 17: Humor

Today is Day 17 of Happiness Month and it will be continuing all month long. This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life:  Humor!  Knock, knock. Who’s there? The Three Stooges. Will Farrel. Venture Brothers. Monty Python. Humor can come in many shapes and sizes, but today take time to laugh until you fall off your chair and roll on the floor laughing!  The word “humor” can be a noun–a word that names things– or a verb, but today we’ll be concentrating on the noun definition.  As a noun, “humor” means:

  • The quality that makes something laughable or amusing; funniness.
  • That which is intended to induce laughter or amusement.
  •  The ability to perceive, enjoy, or express what is amusing, comical, incongruous, or absurd.
  • A person’s characteristic disposition or temperament.
  •  An often temporary state of mind; a mood: I’m in no humor to argue.
  •  A sudden, unanticipated whim–capricious or peculiar behavior.

(Will Ferrell All Busted Up Over Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson)

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

Beholding Glory


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Save Our Marriage Saturday – 8/11

We have a tradition here at Affaircare. We call it “Save Our Marriage Saturday”–and we’re sharing the love.  Link-love that is!  Every Saturday we hold a link-up party so you can share a post of your own and we can all help each other to save our marriages!

Please share your post on any and all things related to saving your marriage after an affair, reconciling after you committed adultery, recovering your marriage after finding out that your spouse cheated, or keeping your marriage affair-free!

1. Please link to your actual “Save Our Marriage Saturday” post, not just the address to your blog or site home page.

2. Please leave me a comment–I would love to visit your site, return the favor, and follow you!

3. Please share the love with your fellow bloggers–Read and leave a comment on at least the two blogs above yours.

4. Please help me spread the word. Let’s create a community of Christian believers who want to bring glory to God by teaching our brothers and sisters about how to have a godly marriage, how to avoid the typical traps that lead to infidelity, and how to be a living testimony of forgiveness and reconciliation if one spouse is unfaithful.

5. Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. You can find the button code here for you to insert in your post:

HTML CODE:

<a href=”http://affaircare.com/category/save-our-marriage-saturdays/”><img src=”http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh76/FaithfulWifeCJ/affaircare/lighthousetale2-1.jpg&#8221; style=”border:none;” />



I LINK TO THESE GODLY LINK-UPS:
Beholding Glory’s Blog Hop List, No Ordinary Blog Hop: Family-Parenting-Marriage , The Alabaster Jar-Marital Oneness Mondays, Time-Warp Wife-Titus 2sdays, …to Love, Honor and Vacuum–Wifey Wednesdays, Grace Alone/Women Taking a Stand–Thankful Thursdays, and Beholding Glory–Faith Filled Fridays.


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10 Things Children Can Learn From Their Father about Infidelity

It’s Father’s Day so naturally I’m thinking about children today–after all we have seven!  And while we sipped our morning coffee today, I read a blog by Doug Fields, entitled: “10 actions that kids learn from their parent’s marriage” and it got me  thinking.  Our children are always watching us, but children today do not have role models for happy, loving marriages that last a lifetime–so what they’re watching are marriages that are unfaithful, self-centered and eventually…fatherless.

So here are 10 things that children can learn from their father about infidelity, using Doug Field’s list as a guide:

1.  Affection.  Our children can see affection being used as a weapon, withheld as punishment, or exerted to manipulate a spouse into doing what you want.  If their father does not find it easy to display affection, they can learn that if something is hard they should avoid it.

OR…  They can see affection offered as a source of encouragement, security and joy from one committed person to another…at no cost, freely given.  If their father doesn’t find it easy to display affection but he tries anyway, they can learn that even if something is hard, they can do it and keep trying.

2.  Saying “I’m sorry.”  Our children can see their father being blatantly and obviously wrong, inaccurate and incorrect and yet refusing to admit the error, thereby learn blameshifting and deflection and projection.

OR… They can see their father being blatantly and obviously wrong, inaccurate and incorrect and then admit what he did wrong and do an exact about-face, thereby learning that we all make mistakes but a wise man learns from his mistakes and a courageous man corrects himself.

3.  Affirmation.  Our children can hear their father swearing and using negative, derogatory, belittling, criticism coming out of their father’s mouth (about their mother or them) and learn that no one is ever good enough.

OR…  They can hear their father using positive, encouraging, appreciative, praise coming out of their father’s mouth (about their mother or them) and learn that every one is valuable and worthy of being treated with respect.

4.  Attraction.  Our children can see a worldly representation of putting lust and their own “sexual needs” ahead of anything else, with an idea of beauty that only has to do with youth and physical perfection.

OR… They can see a godly representation of putting commitment ahead of lust and your spouse’s sexual desires ahead of your own, pleasing them and seeing both their physical beauty at every age…and their inner beauty of spirit.  Then they will understand what their dad means when he says “Your mom is a beautiful woman.”

5.  Time.  Oh I love this one!  Our children can see their father invest his time, energy and interest in his work, his hobbies, his friends, and some lady AT work…making the marriage falter and their family fall apart.

OR… They can see their father invest his time, energy and interest in their mother, them, their home and their family…making the marriage stronger and their family more secure.

6.  Laughter.  Our children can watch the attitude of their father and see him ridicule and mock their mother, all the while saying “It was a joke! You have no sense of humor” (thereby learning that one way to feel better about themselves is to belittle others).

OR…  They can watch the attitude of their father and see a man find so much joy, happiness, pleasure and amusement with one woman–their mother–that he laughs and frolicks with her and with them!!

7.  Respect.  Our children can observe their father treating their mother with contempt, rudeness, and dishonor–neglecting her emotionally, mentally and spiritually–thereby learning to treat the people in their life with discourtesy and disrespect.

OR… They can observe a father who treats their mother with esteem, regard and honor–taking care of her emotionally, mentally and spiritually–thereby learning to treat the people in their life with courtesy and dignity.

8.  Faith conversations.  Our children can study a father who discounts faith, loses his moral values, and says things like “lying is wrong” but then turns around and lies about where he was or who he was with (thereby teaching the children that once you become an adult you don’t have to obey God).

OR… They can study a father who realizes that faith is the foundation life is built upon, and study a man who guards his moral values and when he says “lying is wrong” he even applies it to himself (thereby learning that we always have to obey, and what is wrong is wrong)!

9.  The value of friends.  Our children can follow a father who will “hang out with” any kind of person, in any kind of place, and listen to the bad advice of people with low morals.

OR… They can follow a father who will not associate with people at the bar and who encourage unfaithfulness, a father who selects his friends carefully and then lavishes respect, love and joy on them.

10.  Servanthood.  Our children can learn from a father who lords-it-over their mom, pounds the bible verse that she has to submit to him, and treat her like she is supposed to SERVE him.

OR… They can learn from a father that true love means that we put the needs of our spouse ahead of our own, serve them, do what is best for them, and follow in the footsteps of Jesus.

The Alabaster Jar

  • Fathers I Have Known and Loved (backinrivercity.com)
  • Father’s, the Bedrock of Civil Society (eagleviews.org)
  • A father’s love: the most influential of all? (ctv.ca)
  • The Importance of Fathers (gordonkeith.wordpress.com)


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Don’t Look at the Toothpick in Your Spouse’s Eye

Does this ever happen to you? Something happens that sparks a pretty good discussion–something you’re really thinking about and pondering–and suddenly, over and over again, that issue comes up everywhere? That has happened recently here at Affaircare. There was a pastor that came to chat with us while we were offline, but he left us a message/email instead. He wrote:

“David or Cindy – I recently discovered your website. As a counseling pastor I often deal with the subject matter you address. I like your fire analogy. The questionnaires to assess extinguishers and kindlers is also a good idea. One observation that I would make is that the questionnaires focus on the spouse – what he or she is doing. If the questions were changed to focus on the one taking the questionnaire, I think that would be helpful. So often the problem with couples in marital conflict is the focus is always on what the spouse is doing wrong or could do better. I always have to deal with that early on – to get each person to stop focusing on the spouse and to focus on what he/she must change (James 1:22-25 -mirror analogy, Mat 7:3-5 – speck/log analogy). With the tendency of marital failures to “point the finger” I think your questionnaires feed that. That being said, thanks for what you do.”

For reference, here are the bible verses to which our pastor/commenter was referring:

James 1: 22-25 “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”

Matt. 7:1-5 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

[The speck/log anlogy can also be found in Luke 6:37-38, 41-42 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ... Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."]

After that pastor left his message, I started working with a person who’s spouse had a ‘very special friend at work’ and was spending a lot of time listening to and talking with that work-friend whilst simulteously insisting that it wasn’t wrong, it was all perfectly okay, and suggesting that they must have insecurity and jealousy issues if this wasn’t acceptable. Over and over again, the person I was speaking to kept turning the conversation back to “my spouse does this” or “my spouse does that” and even when we were talking about what the client had done in the marriage to contribute to the weakness, gradually the conversation would steer back to focusing on the spouse!   Several times I had to stop and say “You can not change your spouse or make them do anything.  Thus our attention here is going to be on what YOU need to do and what YOU need to change in order to be more in line with the person you should be and more in line with godly designs for marriage!”

ABSOLUTELY 100% the most common issue we find as we speak with married couples is the same problem over and over and over.  It’s looking at the toothpick in your spouse’s eye when you have a big old phone pole in your own eye!  Time and again couples come to marriage counselors and expect us to be able to “see the truth” and within a week or two “make their spouse do things my way” in order to fix everything that took years to gradually erode and destroy.   Most couples do not come to counseling with the attitude that THEY are the one who needs to change or that THEY are the one who will need to put in some effort!  The enormously vast majority point at what their spouse did or said… as if to say “My spouse did something evil and hurtful; therefore it is good and right for me to do something equally evil and hurtful”… as if their spouse’s wrongdoing justifies their own wrongdoing!

As usual, here in the USA, that is almost exactly backward.  (We look at so many things exactly backward!)  In order for marital counseling to work at all, both of the individuals in the marriage have to be willing to look at and work on themselves: the one with the phone pole in there eye is going to need to work a lot!   But the one with the toothpick in their eye still needs to get that toothpick out of there, and they still need to stop justifying the toothpick because “Hey my spouse has a whole phone pole in his/her eye!”

So when you read our blog posts, don’t think to yourself: “Oh my spouse should hear this.  S/He never listens to me and this expert agrees with me. ”  Think instead about how the post may apply to YOU  When you read our articles do not say to yourself: “Well my spouse never does any Love Kindlers anymore.  S/He should do more Love Kindlers for me.”  Think instead about how YOU might do Love Kindlers for your spouse…or which Love Extinguishers YOU do that YOU need to stop.  Don’t look at the toothpick in your spouse’s eye.  Keep your focus on obeying God and being the man or woman God wants you to be, and let your spouse do the same–leave them in God’s hands.

  • Judging others, it’s a trap we all can fall into easily. (pastormikesays.wordpress.com)
  • When We Judge Others (therisingmuse.com)
  • Matthew 7:1-14 (My Paraphrase) (willhumes.net)


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What a Gamer Geek Can Teach You

Did you know that Dear Hubby and I are gamer geeks?  Yep, we play several video games together as one of the recreational activities that we share.  We have shamans and paladins in one game, a demon slayer and wizard in another…and a Kat and a Norski in yet a third game!  For some fun and relaxation, we play together, learn various techniques together, read up on our class or our role in the game, and we work on building all the aspects of the game like exploring the whole map, crafting and achievements too.  This way the games go on and on and on and on!

The other night, as we were playing together in a party, it dawned on me that some of the techniques used when partying in the game really do apply to marriage too:

1. Separately or together?  In all three games that we play, there is an option to play the game solo (by yourself) or to play it in a party with someone else.  If you play the game solo, it can be done but it’s a lot harder, and it takes a lot longer.  Playing with another person makes the game a little less stressful–or at least the stress is different–and now one of you can specialize in doing damage while the other specializes in healing.

As you might imagine, it’s the same for marriage.  You *can* go through life single and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it can be a lot harder (“An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs —how he can please the Lord. ” ~I Cor. 7:32).  You have to bear everything on your own, and every task you do, there is no one there to back you up or support you.  Furthermore, as a single person you sort of have to be a “jack of all trades.”  Being married does not remove stress, but the stress does change and there is someone there to help you get through things and support you.  In addition you do get to use some of your own natural talents to their fullest, and let your spouse handle the things for which they have a natural talent.

2. Someone has to lead.  If you do choose to party with someone in the game, one strategy you need to use is that someone has to lead.  If you both go off in opposite directions or “do your own thing,”  then you both get attacked and get in trouble.  When you try to run back toward the member of your party, BOTH of you are under attack and have quite a battle on your hands!  If one person in the party leads and the other one follows, you can have the same objective and when you’re attacked, you both fight it.

 Again, it’s the same for marriage.  If you both have your own work, your own classes, your own hobbies and interests, and your own friends–to the exclusion of your spouse–then you run in opposite directions and somewhere along the line you get into trouble.  When you try to run back to your spouse for support,  you’re BOTH in trouble and end up with quite a huge issue to deal with!  On the other hand, if the husband leads as the Lord directed (“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” ~Eph 5:23), and the wife follows, the couple can have the same objectives and when they get into some sort of trouble, they can BOTH face it together and  help each other out.

3. HELP!  Every game has some sort of situation in which there is a surprise attack by some sort of monster or enemy.  Sometimes the goal is to kill X number of the creatures and then report back.  When you’re in a party with someone, if you want you can divide the number of creatures in half and each go out and kill half the creatures to get to the total you need.  But that means that each person in the party is acting independently as if they were alone, and the actual task takes longer.  In addition, if one or the other of you really gets hit HARD and you stop fighting to try to take care of yourself, the enemy keeps attacking and you die! On the other hand, if the lead picks one creature and the other player ASSISTS the leader, you still need to kill X number of creatures, but the two of you doing it together makes it go faster…AND if one or the other of you really gets hit HARD the other one is right there to stop fighting and switch to healing!

This also holds true in marriages.  If the two spouses do stick together but they act independently as if they are single, the marriage may stay together but it definitely makes it harder.  The tasks of raising a family and making a living may get done, but the toll it takes can be damaging.   Plus if one spouse is hit with something HARD, without the other one right there to help them get through it, it may tear the marriage apart (it dies).  On the other hand, if wife allows her husband to lead and actually helps him (“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ ” ~Gen 2:18) the tasks are shared and they go faster and the burden is just a little lighter.  You still need to raise a family and you still need to make a living, but when you consider your spouse as you’re doing those things and view everything as a couple, the toll can be eased and any damage largely avoided.  More importantly though, if one of you is hit HARD with some huge issue or attack, the other one is right there to help you get through it, and the marriage is saved!

  • 10 Things to do to Help Your Marriage Feel Less Stressed | All Pro Dad (revjohnhill.org)
  • How to Stay Married for The Rest of Your Life (beyondjane.com)


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The Perfect Apology

Let’s paint a picture.  You acted like an immature little baby, demanded your way and pouted when you didn’t get it.  Or you treated your spouse rudely…in public.  Or you said mean, hurtful, spiteful things that you don’t really mean but that came roaring out of your mouth in the heat of battle, followed by calling your spouse a name that no civilized human being would call someone (much less, someone they loved!).  Or in the context of infidelity, you were unfaithful to your spouse and frankly there’s just no excuse for that–and now in a clear-headed moment you realize you are responsible for what you’ve chosen.

So you behaved poorly and you are taking personal responsibility, so the time has come–in order to repair the damage done, you need to apologize.

All too often, whether it’s after a fight or after something major like an affair, I hear people say they apologized and their spouse is still rubbing their nose in it.  Why?  Well part of it may be that they apologized like this: “I’m sorry, alright already?” and then if their spouse brings up the topic again they say “I said I was sorry!!  What more do you want from me?”  If this is the type of apology you have given your spouse, it is not adequate. When asking for someone’s forgiveness, you actually need to include QUITE a lot of infomation, and that’s because you are not just “saying you’re sorry” but also acknowleding what did you did wrong, taking responsibility for it, and wherever possible, making restitution or working to restore the relationship!  A proper apology contains:

  • a detailed account of the situation–not hiding details or covering up what happened; be specific.
  • acknowledgement of the hurt or damage done–name what you’ve done; say it out loud and call it by name.
  • taking responsibility for the situation–no blame-shifting here; take personal responsibility for your part.
  • a statement of regret–indicate that you are upset over your past actions.
  • asking for forgiveness–come right out and make the request.
  • a promise that it won’t happen again–indicate what your plan is so that the person is not hurt again.
  • a form of restitution whenever possible–some actions result in damage, so replace the damaged item; however, some damage can not be “undone” in which case you might give them what they need in order to feel safe.

All of this may seem a little overwhelming to you, and honestly…who can remember all that? It’s good stuff to include in a sincere apology but there’s just so much!!!  Never fear, good readers.  I have come up with a little memory helper that even the guys will find easy and manly.  You know when you lift weights how you do X number of lifts in sets…and what do you calls those?  REPS (short for repetitions)!!!  When you want to make a proper apology, do the “heavy lifting” and do your REPS:

R – Responsibility.  Take personal responsibility, that is!  To start off an apology, take personal responsibility for what you did.  Don’t try to blame someone else for what you chose to do–admit that YOU chose it and name out loud exactly what it is that you did.  Thus on very simple terms, you might say “I regret that I … <fill in details about what you did here>”

E – Empathy.  Indicate that you have some comprehension about how it may have made your spouse feel or what it may have made them think  State that what they thought or felt was reasonable.  Demonstrate that you not only comprehend, but also understand their feelings or thoughts, and maybe give an example of how you “relate” or “identify.”    Again using very simple terms, you may say “I can clearly see that it hurt you and probably that you thought <XYZ>.  I can completely understand how you’d feel that way.”

P – Plan.  Give your spouse some specifics on your plan to keep this from happening again.  You don’t have to format it like a list, but fill them in on what you intend to do to address the issue, change, or do differently so you can protect them even from yourself!  Using simple terms again, you might say: “In the future I do plan on going to some counseling to address this with a professional, and I am going to do <ABC> when I notice this starting so it doesn’t come to this again.”

S – Safety.  Let your spouse know that you encourage them to do what they believe they have-to-do in order to keep themselves safe.  Sometimes people may feel like they need a day or two to themselves to recover–or they need you to sleep on the couch for a night or two.  Maybe they need to remove all knives from the kitchen–I don’t know!!  BUT what I do know is that this step is the one that offers some sort of restitution for the damage you’ve done.  If you did the crime–let them know you are willing to do the time to repair the damage.

  • The right way to say “I’m sorry” and be forgiven (moanti.wordpress.com)
  • Should you forgive or accept when an affair happens (mapenzinandoa.wordpress.com)
  • 5 Ways To Apologize (loveimpact2012.wordpress.com)
  • How to Apologize (kraigkrempa.com)


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Our year in review (questions you can ask your spouse)

It’s that time of year when bloggers are doing their “Year in Review” blogs…. yet to add a twist to this concept of reviewing the year gone by as we prepare for the New Year, I want to encourage you and your spouse to set aside some time, when you will not be disturbed, and look at your year in review.

When couples live together for a while, they can sometimes begin to think that they “know” their spouse, and they “know” what he/she thinks and feels. Even if this year you two have faced infidelity, or are facing unfaithfulness right now, please do two things: 1) set aside time to ask your spouse these question, and then 2) really LISTEN to your spouse’s response. It is natural that in order to justify their affair, your spouse will magnify everything that’s wrong with you and the marriage (how could they possibly cheat if things were good?). But it’s also true that assuming you “know” what they think and feel will lead to disaster! Even if it is with a grain of salt, LISTEN as your spouse explains to you what life is like–in their world…in their thoughts…in their feelings–because there are TWO of you in this marriage (not just you and what you expect).

So first, read over the questions and organize your own answers honestly and thoroughly. Be transparent so that your spouse sees the True You…but also please don’t forget to be kind. Second, one of you answer all of the questions, one-at-a-time, out loud. While one of you is answering, the other should only listen or ask clarifying questions. Then switch roles and the second spouse answers all of the questions, one-at-a-time, out loud…and while he/she is answering, the other should only listen or ask clarifying questions

Here are the questions (from “Getting to Know Your Spouse Better” by Brent A. Barlow on the Family Dynamics Institute website) :

  • In our marriage, I feel loved when you …
  • In our marriage, I feel appreciated when you …
  • In our marriage, I am happiest when …
  • In our marriage, I am saddest when …
  • In our marriage, I am angriest when …
  • In our marriage, I would like more …
  • In our marriage, I would like less …
  • In our marriage, I feel awkward when …
  • In our marriage, I feel uneasy when …
  • In our marriage, I feel excited when …
  • In our marriage, I feel close to you when …
  • In our marriage, I feel distant from you when …
  • In our marriage, I feel most afraid when …
  • My greatest concern/fear about our marriage is …
  • What I like most about myself is …
  • What I dislike most about myself is …
  • The feelings that I have the most difficulty sharing with you are …
  • The feelings that I can share most easily with you are …
  • Our marriage could be greatly improved with just a little effort if we …
  • The one thing in our marriage that needs the most immediate attention is …
  • The best thing about our marriage is …

 

  • Putting on the Kindness of Christ in Marriage (trinitytuscaloosa.wordpress.com)
  • 3 Powerful Questions Spouses Ask Each Other (thepurebed.wordpress.com)
  • Know Your Spouse (herbertmtowo.wordpress.com)
  • You put Your Whole Self In, You Put Your Whole Self Out, You Put Your Whole Self In and Shake It All About (ask.metafilter.com)
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