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Sample No Contact Letters


Dr. Harley's (From "Surviving An Affair)

<Other Person>,

I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk with you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that <Betrayed Spouse> did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay <Betrayed Spouse> for the pain I have caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she's been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.

<Wandering Spouse>


Letter #2 (This is my favorite by far)

Dear Other Person,

The relationship I had with you was thoughtless and cruel. It hurt many people, particularly my spouse, who did not deserve to be treated that way. I am committed to my marriage and determined to make up for all the hurt I've caused my family. I am going to work hard to be the best husband/wife that he/she deserves.

Because of the terrible offense to my spouse and the damage I have done to our marriage, I am permanently ending all contact with you. Please respect my wish to regain my integrity, and to heal my family. Please also respect my wish that you not attempt to contact me in any way at any time.

My spouse has all the details of our relationship and he/she will also be told of any attempts at contact.


Disloyal Spouse


Letter #3

Dear Other Person,

I am writing this letter for one reason only. All communication between you and me must come to an end immediately! If Husband/Wife and I are ever going to resolve our differences and re-establish the trust we once had, you and I cannot communicate with each other at all.

I realize now that I never should have considered trying to find <company name> products for you or even considered selling you my car.

It certainly isn't anything personal, but I'm sure that you can understand Husband/Wife's position on the issue and if you were in his/her shoes that you would feel exactly the same as s/he does.

I love him/her and s/he deserves a 100% effort from me to make our lives together as happy as possible.

I wish you well, and I will appreciate your cooperation in this matter.


Disloyal Spouse


Letter #4

I have behaved in a selfish and inconsiderate way that has resulted in much pain to both of our families. I know that marital reconciliation with my husband is the right thing to do, but will never fully repay the heartache I have caused. I deeply care about him and want things to work out so we can have a family and realize all of our dreams together. To protect him, I have decided and been required to break off all contact with you. All things considered, I think it is best that our families break off all contact as well. This decision, this promise to not ever contact you in any way, direct or indirect, is for life. I am so sorry for what I have done to my and your family. I ask that you respect my promise and never seek to contact me. I will refuse any such attempts to contact me and notify <spouse> immediately.
I am trying to do the right thing and set my family and my life straight. I have been completely honest with my husband about everything. He knows everything. The selfish and inconsiderate damage that I have caused can never be fully repaired but breaking off all contact is the first step towards a rebuilding of trust. I hope that in time you can forgive me.


Letter #5 (this is my least favorite as they will be working in the same company, but in that situation, this letter might work)


I am sending this letter to confirm for you that I have reconciled with my <loyal spouse.>
To protect her, I have decided to break off all non-professional contact with you. This decision--not to contact you or interact with you in any way other than as required to maintain a polite professional relationship--is permanent and not subject to change. I ask that you respect my decision, and never seek to contact me, or interact with me in any way other than as required to maintain a civil professional relationship. I will refuse all efforts to initiate other than professional contact with me, and I will notify our supervisor <name> immediately of any contact between us, as I have been doing after each and every communication you have made thus far, and I will continue to alert our supervisor to any effort made to initiate additional interaction. I have been completely honest with both our supervisor and my spouse about everything that has transpired. This is essential to rebuild a trusting relationship between <loyal spouse> and I, and I have committed myself to doing so.

I hope that this letter makes clear my position.