Posted by: Cindy at Affaircare | September 19, 2010

Computer Crashes and Marital Health

 Yesterday my computer had a crash.  Like most bloggers and online entrepreneurs, my life is on my computer.  Prior to the crash I had noticed the graphics were acting up, but thought it was a mix of needing to update the drivers and possibly to vacuum some dust around the PC and inside the box.  Apparently I was wrong–and my video card fan was not working and the card was overheating.  Over time, as the fan would slow and the card would overheat…it was gradually corrupting my Windows.  
Until recently I was working with a company that required older versions of Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox, because their software didn’t work with the latest releases.  Usually this is pretty bad for your PC because over time the Firefox or Internet Explorer are no longer supported browsers and things like videos and images no longer run properly.  Still it was for a paycheck, and I added Google Chrome for a cool, updated, personal browser and used old versions of IE and Firefox for work.  The trick though was that there were also certain Windows updates that I couldn’t run or it would make the work software incompatible.  So over time Windows, IE and Firefox were getting older and older and less and less supported…and that’s bad.  I think mixing the old, unsupported Windows with the video card overheating…and my version of XP got to a point where it was corrupted to the point that it would no longer run.  
I woke up like I do every day and was checking my email and starting to respond when my PC shut down (aka, turned off) for no apparent reason.  Hey, I hit the button on the front of the PC now and then–I’m not fool proof!  But I was pretty sure I hadn’t been moving and neither had Dear Hubby, yet it just shut down!  Anyway, I tried to restart it and that’s when it all began.  It wouldn’t boot.  We could get it to boot into Safe Mode but as we tried different diagnostic things, eventually even that stopped and we couldn’t even get it to boot in Safe Mode.  It was clear my Windows was toast and I was going to have to reformat my drive and reinstall Windows.  
What does all this have to do with Marital Health, you wonder, right?  Well I *HATE* having to reformat my drive and reinstalling Windows.  It feels like I’m losing all my data and all my programs, and it completely wastes an entire day!  I could have chosen to play the victim, whine and moan, blame my Dear Hubby somehow, and yell angrily–snarling at everyone who dared to cross my path yesterday.  I actually know people who would have chosen to act exactly like that!  It was very stressful; I was worried; Dear Hubby was worried; and the way I make a living was at stake!  Instead, I made a decision–that is to say a conscious choice–to accept that this was occurring and look at it as an opportunity rather than a torment.  Psalm 118:24 says “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!”  
There was NO PART OF ME that wanted to rejoice and be glad that I had to reformat my drive and reinstall Windows!  But I made a decision to do it anyway, even though I did not “feel like it,” and guess what happened?  Dear Hubby and I had a day that brought us CLOSER rather than driving us apart! 
My Dear Hubby is a graphics professional so he has a PC that is top of the line, large and fast.  He has the latest and greatest of everything!  So we could have copied my entire drive onto his extra “storage” drive if we had to, so I was at least pretty sure I wasn’t going to lose any documents.  Thank God for that!  So right there I thought, “Well I can rejoice over not losing data” and I did.  Then we had a good chance to start my drive over with a nice, new install of Windows, so that was a little something I could rejoice over.  
Most of my clients prefer Windows XP (some work with Windows 7, but none work with Vista), so we chose to reinstall our XP-Pro license and register it and authenticate it and everything…and then run every update!  Oh that took a moment and yet it runs so smooth and clean now!  Then Dear Hubby helped me configure the new install the way I prefer (like getting the right size screen, icons, and fonts).  Oh there was another thing I could rejoice over: Dear Hubby was being AMAZINGLY helpful!  I was somewhat emotional, but he was calm and patient and steady so that really helped…and I did rejoice over that!  
Then the real fun began: downloading programs and games and all the patches.  We knew that would take most of the day, and guess what Dear Hubby did?  He had made plans to make a fancy dinner (homemade clam chowder, which, trust me, is *out of this world* good) but he put aside his own plans to help me with downloads and finding sites or disks so I could reinstall all my programs and games!  Okay I DEFINITELY rejoiced in that!  Also, he helped me remember the programs I used all the time, helped find sites to download (like the Mozilla site), and helped me find the right location for all  the bookmarks he’d saved!
Every day–every event is an opportunity to bring you and your spouse closer, or drive the two of you further apart. Every day you can CHOOSE to be happy or choose to complain and blame others.  Every day, you make the choice to damage your marriage or make it stronger and more healthy.  Reformatting my drive and reinstalling Windows was a dramatic demonstration of the concept that happiness happens, and we can choose to make our marriage healthy!

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  1. Good post and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you seeking your information.

    By: Anonymous on October 1, 2010
    at 2:51 PM

    Reply

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