Is your spouse “catching up” with an old high school friend on Facebook or chat, and you feel uncomfortable… but you can’t put a finger on WHY? That’s because right now their texts may be just two old friends talking about the past, but if it continues here’s what they’ll start talking about:
Their lives since they parted
Their relationships since they parted
Their families
Their spouses
You (the spouse)
How you’re an excellent parent
How you’re a great spouse
How you’re a wonderful person
Your job
How your job keeps you busy
How your job keeps you away
How they sometimes feel a little lonely when you’re away
How they sometimes feel a little overburdened at home
How they sometimes feel a little taken for granted
How they feel that you don’t ALWAYS listen
How they feel that you don’t ALWAYS understand her
How they feel that sometimes you’re just “not there” for them
How, okay… you’re not ALWAYS such a wonderful person
How they loved hearing from their old friend again
How they look forward to their old friend’s texts/calls/e-mails now
How they feel young again
How they feel appreciated again
How they feel attractive again
How it’s so nice to have someone who just LISTENS again
How it’s been so, so long since someone made then feel that way
How their eyes have now been opened
How they now realize what they truly want and need
How they now realizes that their spouse could NEVER give them that
How insensitive their spouse can be some times
How their spouse can be a real jerk sometimes
How they wonder what it would be like if the two of you would have stayed together “back in the day”
How they now realize that they never really loved their spouse
How they now realize that they really loved their old friend all along
How they ever could have fallen for a jerk like their spouse
How their spouse is the biggest a++hole they’ve ever known
How their spouse is standing in the way of true happiness
How their spouse ruined their life
How they made a big mistake marrying their spouse
How they made an even bigger mistake letting the old friend go
How now they see that they were really meant to be with the old friend
How they desperately have to get away from their spouse
How they’re definitely going to leave their spouse
How they’re talking to divorce lawyers
How they’re going to live happily ever after…
(original author, unknown)
yep…that is the issue and the Internet makes it so easy.
But we all have a choice, and when boundaries are crossed….we need to say so…How can people be so naïve? or are they?
Not naive at all. Men and women that entertaine intimate discussion with people other than their spouse or companion are looking for attention, a thrill, a self entitled desire to be free to do what they can get away with – without getting caught…
The naive ones are the unsuspecting spouse/companion that is confounded when they find out that the person they thought was their soulmate has been intimate with a stranger. The clueless loyal spouse doesn’t have a chance when their partner decides to stray…
Well done. The anatomy of deceit. Sort of makes me want to vomit. HUGS.
Correct in we all have choices. We all have to be accountable to someone or choose to be single. Marriage is a choice to be accountable. You can be accountable to your friends all day long but are they going to tell you to stop talking to that friend and if you don’t what are the consequences? Your friend is going to divorce you?
If couples struggle with sexual temptation or even if they don’t because of the day and time that we live in there must be communications where as a couple you decide to freely have a social media site together, share passwords and be accountable to one another. Been there and this is what works for us after 20 years if affairs.
Good writing btw. 🙂