Monthly Archives: October 2014

Recovering After an Affair: Take Some Time [Podcast]

You’ve found evidence that proves there is an affair. You’ve done all the steps to end the affair, and now you and your disloyal spouse have made the decision to try to reconcile. WHAT DO YOU DO!!!???


In this week’s episode we continue our Basic Concepts series: Recovering After an Affair, and we discuss one of the most fun steps in reconciliation–taking some time alone together. This is a CRUCIAL step in creating positive associations with your spouse, and it is the foundation upon which the new “post-affair” marriage will be built. Your getaway doesn’t need to be a cruise to the Bahamas, nor should it be a pressure to make love, but it should be just the two of you and it should involve activities you both enjoy–something you BOTH have always wanted to do!

Our new program, “90 Days to Save Your Marriage and Save You” will teach you and how your spouse how to recover after infidelity.

[audio: https://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/Take+Some+Time-Podcast.mp3]

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Top 10 Acts of Service to Make Your Partner Feel Loved

Recently, David and I have discovered a great little site: Twoofus.org.

Since one of our Reconciliation Tools is The Five Love Languages (as seen on our Quizzes page), we found this little article about the love language “Acts of Service” and thought it was so good, that we’d just repost the whole thing!  The original of this article can be found here: http://www.twoofus.org/educational-content/articles/top-10-acts-of-service-to-make-your-partner-feel-loved-/index.aspx  (Warning: it loads REALLY slowly)


 

acts-of-service

In Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages, he explains that people express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Chapman identifies these the five languages of love as: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

For people who have “acts of service” as their primary love language, helpful acts are seen as very powerful expressions of love and devotion. Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, mowing the grass, etc. are all acts of service. If done with a positive spirit and without expecting something in return, they are indeed expressions of love.

Within every language, there are many dialects. If you have a significant other with acts of service as his/her primary love language, find out the specific things he/she would like by asking. If you are the person with that specific love language, let your spouse know which actions mean the most to you.

We asked people what acts(s) of service they think are most valued by a spouse are here are some of the responses:

  1. During the cold months, put a towel in the dryer while your spouse is showering so it’s all fluffy and warm when he/she gets out.
  2. Clean the kitchen or bathroom
  3. Men: Be a gentleman and walk on the “dangerous” side of the road so she feels protected.
  4. Fix things that the other can’t fix.
  5. Buy or make him/her lunch and bring it to him/her at work, even if (especially if) it’s out of your way.
  6. Cook a special meal that you know he/she likes.
  7. Fill up your gas tank without being asked.
  8. Drop your spouse at the door when it is raining.
  9. Men: Open car doors for your wife.
  10. Go to the grocery store and buy items you know he/she loves—without being asked

In Christ Alone

I just heard this today, and it was SO BEAUTIFUL I just wanted to share it.

LYRICS:

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev’ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow’r of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand.

Recovering After an Affair: Forgiveness [Podcast]

You’ve found evidence that proves there is an affair. You’ve done all the steps to end the affair, and now you and your disloyal spouse have made the decision to try to reconcile. WHAT DO YOU DO!!!???


In this week’s episode we continue our Basic Concepts series: Recovering After an Affair, and we discuss one of the hardest parts about reconciling–forgiveness. We also go over the most common myths about forgiveness and offer concrete steps to help you forgive each other.

Our new program, “90 Days to Save Your Marriage and Save You” will teach you and how your spouse how to recover after infidelity. We will be discussing what forgiveness is and is not, and how to forgive. To introduce our new program, we are reviewing our Basic Concepts

[audio: https://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/Forgiveness.mp3]

Today is the Day!

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Have you and your spouse been fighting all the time, and you have a gut feeling your spouse has been unfaithful?  Have you just found out your spouse is cheating, and you don’t know what to do?  Has your spouse’s affair ended, and you two would like to reconcile, but you don’t know where to start?  Have you been trying to reconcile after infidelity, but it feels like you are spinning your wheels and can’t get that loving feeling back?

Our new program “90 Days to Save Your Marriage and Save You” starts TODAY and I’m so excited!!  So if you answered “YES” to any of the questions above, and you’d like to join us, there’s still time.

Register Here

You’ll get more information, a nice little “early bird” price on the program, and a little freebie from us to you.