I received a comment today that was so good, I decided to make a blog post about it. This was a comment to my blog post: “What NOT To Do If Your Spouse Is Cheating” and the person who commented wrote:
“Interesting. I know in hindsight that I did a little bit of spineless sniveling. Further hindsight would probably show that reparations would have been more sincere had I shown some dignity. Even to this day I harbor some resentment that I did not just laugh at the despicable nature of a dignified spouse of some class and worth stooping to build such a pathetic fantasy with HER mentally-challenged little welfare drunk. Today I know for a fact that I harbor even more anger towards “ladies” such as yourself who have this facade of purity wrapped around you as though you could do no wrong. You will be the first to spout lie after lie about how you never planned your rendezvous, you never committed certain acts of lust, and the warts on his genitalia never alarmed you. Newsflash ma’am. Ladies are perfectly capable at stabbing their partners in the back also.”
There is no one who is immune from sin, so we all know that anyone who tries to “look” pure is truly just presenting an external, hypocritical image. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23) So every single one of us–you, me, our spouses–we have all disobeyed God, not done what He has told us to do, and done what He has told us not to do. This is why Christ came to the world and became flesh–so that He could live the life we should have lived and then pay the penalty we should have paid! The Good News is that while we were yet sinners, and at enmity with God…Christ died for us. His righteousness is imputed to us.
As God would have it, I do happen to be a female person. My male spouse did cheat on me, break up our family, and end my first marriage. My current, second spouse is a male person, and his female spouse did cheat on him, break up his family, and end their marriage. Together, we have worked with hundreds of couples, and I want to be sure this is crystal clear: Adultery is an Equal Opportunity Evil. It does not matter if you are male or female, you can still be the Loyal Spouse (whose spouse is unfaithful), and you can still be the Disloyal Spouse (who is the one who is unfaithful). Your wealth, race, and creed do not exclude you from infidelity, and there is no demographic that is shielded. In fact, if you think about it, in order for there TO BE an affair, there has to be TWO PEOPLE who are actively participating in actions which are inappropriate. Now one of the two may be single, but they would still have to be acting that way with someone whom they know is taken and committed to someone else. Yes, a single person is available to flirt–but the very FIRST thing you find out is whether or not the other person is also available.
So again, to be crystal clear, unless a person knows them self and their own weaknesses, and unless a person put limits and boundaries around themselves to protect themselves, their spouse, and their marriage from infidelity–it can very literally happen to anyone. Any gender, any race, any religion, any socio-economic class, any location… I do my best to write “Loyal Spouse” because it could be a man or it could be a woman. I do my best to write “Disloyal Spouse” because any one who is a breathing human being could do the wrong thing and choose the evil choice. In fact, we know that we all do: “There is no one righteous, no not one.” (Romans 3:10)
- What NOT to do if your spouse is cheating (affaircare.com)
- Word for the Third Party (butterflyinthespring.com)
- How to deal with a cheating spouse (forallwomentoknow.blogspot.com)