Monthly Archives: December 2012

Christmas

Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. 

Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

Zechariah 9:9 Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. 

Luke 1: 46-55  And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
    of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
     for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
    holy is his name.
 His mercy extends to those who fear him,
    from generation to generation.
 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
    he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
 He has brought down rulers from their thrones
    but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
    but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
    remembering to be merciful
    to Abraham and his descendants forever,
    just as he promised our ancestors.”

 

 

~The Christmas Story~

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born,  and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.  When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child,  and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.  But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

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Question of the Week: Dec. 23 – Dec. 29

Our question this week is really simple:  What do you need?  I don’t mean “more money” because let’s face it, we could always use more of that!  I mean what NEED do you have that someone could fill for you?

Need a hug?  Need some patience?  Need peace?  Need prayer?

What do you have to GIVE?  This season isn’t only about getting stuff and receiving…it’s about giving as well.  So what do you have to offer?  Your time?  A hug?  A smile?

Add a comment telling us what you NEED….and what you are willing to GIVE.  Thanks!

Top Ten Gifts on HER list for free!!

Are you on a very tight budget and still looking for that perfect gift for her–so that you’ll have a reaction like the picture? Here are the things on her wish list that you can give her for FREE…and they will help kindle the love in your relationship.
1. Intimacy–And nope, I don’t mean sex. I mean opening up and being best friends and being emotionally close. I mean opening up and including her in your thoughts and feelings.

If you want to really strengthen your marriage and have a warm, loving, safe relationship with your bride, I would say give her the gift of intimacy. Share yourself, your life and your thoughts with her. Tell her how you feel. Be open to her and let her see the real you. One thing that extinguishes love quickly is being closed, not sharing your thoughts and feelings, and creating a life that excludes her. (And fellas, just so you know, when your gal is excluded she starts to feel less desired/desirable and sexual desire decreases). Sooo… #1 on her Christmas Wish List will definitely be: Give her YOU! She wants you.

2. Romance–UGH, I know the guys hate to hear this, but one of the best free gifts you can give her is to romance her like when you were dating. Now, I do have pity on you guys–romance can be hard to do on a daily basis, but here’s some practical assistance:  The Affaircare Romance Calendar.   This little calendar changes every month and has one daily suggestion for an idea for your sweetheart.  So if you are NOT the creative, Don Juan type, but you are in your heart, use that as an idea and even if the suggestion doesn’t work for you, pick another day.  Yes, it takes a little effort every day. Yes, it’s worth it.

3. Conversation–Okay this one is a little easier, in a way.  When you two wake up in the morning, when you’re back together after work, when you’re eating dinner, when you lay down to go to bed at night…take some time and talk to her with the TV off, no newspaper, and your PC turned off.  Give 100% attention and act like as if you are interested in her and her day.  It feels crummy when you talk to someone and they are halfway watching a show or reading something and you know that they aren’t really paying attention to you.  Also, I’ll be honest–eventually she’ll feel like this: “Do I have to set myself on fire to get your attention?”  Trust me–you don’t want to go there.  So take the time for her and her alone. The benefits are BIG!

4. Cheerlead–WHAT?  The macho males are supposed to be cheerleaders?  Yes!  Cheer on your bride.  People will tell her how great she is, how well she did or how proud they are, so you be the one with the loudest voice telling her first. And I’m not talking about false compliments here.  I mean see her for the amazing person she is and really make sure that she knows you see it.  Create that environment that when something great happens to her at work or at home, the very *first* person she thinks of telling is YOU.  If she does something you like or you’re proud of…tell her!  If she really tries to make a hard new recipe and it turns out great…tell her!  Be your wife’s biggest fan.

5. Sex–Hmmm…sort of a touchy, personal subject here and I do realize that different women react differently, but men… women like sex too!  There have been tons of books written about the differences between men and women but looking again at The Generous Husband one thing that guys often “don’t get” is that we are hard-wired to want sex when we feel safe, loved, and close to a man…and if one of those three is lacking, what happens is that we might even TRY to respond but physically we can’t get there.  Hey the fact is, our brain is our largest sexual organ!  On the other hand, when the lady in your life does feel safe, loved, and close to you, then WOW please feel free to be Mr. Sexy with her because it kindles that desire!  Again, part of feeling desire is to feel that you are desired…so on the occasion go with the rose petals and candles and at other times, be aggressive, make your move and take her like you can’t wait to get her clothes off!

6. Chores–This is another one that makes husbands roll their eyes but is actually a great gift! If your wife is a stay-at-home-mom, she likely is “on duty” 24hr./7 days a week for laundry, dishes, dinner, picking up the house, and actually cleaning (like with comet and mops).  So while you may work 8am to 5pm, Monday to Friday–she works midnight to 11:59pm Sunday to Saturday.  If your wife is a career woman, then just like you, when she gets home from working all day, she has a list a mile long of chores she has to get done around the house just for cleaning and daily “wear and tear.” My point is that no one can feel lovely and sexy when there’s laundry to get done before tomorrow, the baby is crying and has a fever, and there’s a sink full of dishes.  If you were to both work on all three together though, she would feel grateful for the help and like someone was on her side helping…and that leads to feeling close which leads to feeling loved and sexy.  So yep–man up and change that diaper or scrub that sink, and give her a hug while ya do it.

7. Play–again, this one can be fairly easy. Play together.  Remember when you first met how you used to chase her around and try to tickle her?  Remember how you used to tell jokes and laugh at each other?  Remember how she would go to ballgames with you, and you’d go to ballet with her (even though neither one of you really were fans of it)?  People have fun together and enjoy each others’ company in a thousand ways, but this year for Christmas, give her that fun back.  My Dear Hubby and I *LOVE* to play video games together, create RPG’s together, go camping together, watch football together, and watch movies together. What do you just LIKE to do with your bride?

8. Family–Oy “family” is a tricky one.  Give your wife the gift this Christmas of firmly and devotedly defending her and picking her above all others, whether that means against your family or her family.  One thing that REALLY extinguishes love (and quickly!) is the feeling that given the chance to back her or someone else, you pick someone else…and that includes your mother or your daughter!  When it comes to family, you have the chance to really be a “knight in shining armor” and jump to her aide and defend her, but that sometimes means you have to stand up to other people you love. Here’s the thing: I think everyone would like to believe that our spouse would choose us over everyone else in the world. I know that women often fall in love with or feel love for someone who can periodically “rescue” them (and I don’t mean in an unhealthy way).  But imagine the two scenarios: your wife makes a “family faux pas” and forgets to buy a gift for Uncle Jim; your mother criticizes her in front of everyone in less that glowing terms.  #1–You agree with mom and can’t believe she forgot your relative.  Your mom thinks you’re a good son but your wife feels like she’s fighting all alone and you have to go home with her. Where do you end up sleeping?  #2–You stand up to your mom and say it could have happened to anyone or tell her to please speak to your wife more respectfully.  Your mom is a little miffed that you called her on it but your wife thinks you jumped to her rescue and you have to go home with her.  Where do you end up sleeping?

See what I mean?

9. Gussy up–Okay this one goes both ways a little.  She used to look SO AMAZING in that sexy outfit with her hair done up…remember that?  Well life may have intervened a little, children may have come, etc. and some of her physique may have changed a bit, but if she makes the effort to gussy up for you, look at her as if she was that beautiful bride that you could NOT take your eyes off of.  Notice her hair cut, color, makeup and outfit every day.  Say something about it.  Did she offer to wear some lingerie for you?  DROP EVERYTHING and act interested.  And this goes for you too guys…you look like James Bond when you gussy up a little yourself.  So take off the jeans and tee with the stain, and gussy up for your bride.  Do your hair–add some cologne–wear a night shirt and pants that look GOOD on you.

10. Finances–When single men and women fight, they often go to this argument: (Woman) “All you want a woman for is a trophy wife!” (Man) “Yeah? Well all you want a man for is his wallet!”  Fellas, this may seem like an odd gift to give your bride for Christmas, but again trust me, it’s on her wish list somewhere.  This day and age many women are perfectly capable of “providing for themselves” and yet part of being a wife and mother is safety, and as a wife and mother it is a horribly unstable feeling if you’re worrying about becoming homeless or feeding your children.  Now I do realize that not everyone can be in perfect financial condition, and that sometimes women can want a certain lifestyle that you just can’t attain!  But one gift you can give your bride is that firm, safe feeling of knowing that you will work WITH her on the finances so that things are taken care of.  If you two are in financial straits now, give her the gift of making movement toward straightening up the finances!  Just as it would be a huge burden for you to have to “provide for” the family alone, show her that she’s safe and won’t be left alone to take care of herself and the kids.

And there you have it!  Ten gifts that are sure to be on her Christmas Wish List and that you can her for free.

Save Our Marriage Saturday — Dec. 22nd

Today is  Save Our Marriage Saturday!

We have a tradition here at Affaircare. We call it “Save Our Marriage Saturday”–and we’re sharing the love.  Link-love that is!  Every Saturday we hold a link-up party so you can share a post of your own and we can all help each other to save our marriages!

Please share your post on any and all things related to saving your marriage after an affair, reconciling after you committed adultery, recovering your marriage after finding out that your spouse cheated, or keeping your marriage affair-free!

1. Please link to your actual “Save Our Marriage Saturday” post, not just the address to your blog or site home page.

2. Please leave me a comment–I would love to visit your site, return the favor, and follow you!

3. Please share the love with your fellow bloggers–Read and leave a comment on at least the two blogs above yours.

4. Please help me spread the word. Let’s create a community of Christian believers who want to bring glory to God by teaching our brothers and sisters about how to have a godly marriage, how to avoid the typical traps that lead to infidelity, and how to be a living testimony of forgiveness and reconciliation if one spouse is unfaithful.

5. Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. You can find the button code here for you to insert in your post:

HTML CODE:



Please click on the froggy to see the blog hop!

I LINK TO THESE GODLY LINK-UPS:
Beholding Glory’s Blog Hop List, No Ordinary Blog Hop: Family-Parenting-Marriage , The Alabaster Jar-Marital Oneness Mondays, Revive Your Marriage MondaysTime-Warp Wife-Titus 2sdays, …to Love, Honor and Vacuum–Wifey Wednesdays, Unveiled WifeGrace Alone/Women Taking a Stand–Thankful Thursdays, and Beholding Glory–Faith Filled Fridays.

What To Do When You are Hurting for the Holidays

As I mentioned in my previous article, not everyone has perfect holidays.  Many people are hurting for a variety of reasons.  So today let’s talk about what to do when you are hurting for the holidays.

Let’s talk about WHY you’re hurting:

Have you lost your job this year?  Are you running out of ways to keep your house out of foreclosure?  Are you behind on your bills?  Is you electricity and water shut off?  Can’t afford to eat AND pay your bills?  No money for the presents you think your family or children want?

Dear reader, our God is not a vending machine.  If you have made some bad choices and are now experiencing the costs of the decisions you made, God is not magic and He won’t just magically make money appear out of thin air.  But He IS the King of the universe and the Creator of heaven and earth.  He is omniscient and He CARES for you (I Peter 5:7 says “Cast your cares on Him for He careth for you”).   Like Jesus told his disciples, the birds of the air and the lilies of the field do not worry about their next meal or their clothes, and yet God provides for them, and He will provide for you too.  It may not be what you “want” but I guarantee it will be what you “need.”   Go to the Lord with your financial cares and have faith in His promises.

During this holiday season, remember this is a time of giving…AND RECEIVING, and it is completely okay to allow others the joy of giving to you!  Yes it can be hard to swallow your pride and admit you need help, but there are people who care about you and your family–let them help you.

Are you ill?  Is someone you love ill?  Are you utterly SPENT emotionally and physically just taking care of someone and don’t have the energy to also “celebrate”?  Are you facing death?  Are you afraid?

Dear reader, our God is the Creator of each of one us and He even numbers the hairs on our head  (Matt. 10:30).  He IS the Great Physician and although that doesn’t mean you should stop your medication or stop your treatments, it does mean that our God is more than capable of healing you, emotionally or physically.  We all get older; we all feel the changes as we age and grow more frail; and our lives do end, but in this time of illness or caring for a loved one, our God is a very present help in times of trouble (Ps 46:1).

During this holiday season, remember this is a time of loving, and it is completely okay to love your ill spouse by serving them when they can not pay you back.  It is completely okay to love your own self when you are ill and give yourself time to recuperate…and to only do the holiday things that you can do.  If you can only lie in bed and unwrap presents then so be it…that’s fine.

Are you struggling with personal issues like depression, bipolar mania, or a spouse or child who has mental health issues?  Does this time of year bring up triggers of old hurts such as a loved one passing away or your spouse’s infidelity?

Dear reader, our God is a God of compassion.  Sometimes issues like this can cause guilt or shame that stop a person from praying, and I encourage you to speak out the sorrow of your soul in prayer.  King David wrote in the Psalms: “I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear.  I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done. I lift my hands to you in prayer.  I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.” (Psalm 143:4)  King David was PARALYZED in his pain!  Does this strike a cord with you?  I encourage you to follow King David’s example and bring it to the Lord…as it is…a big, old, blob of painful mess.  God knows you’re having a hard time so don’t try to hide it–be honest.  Come to Him as you are.  But then follow his example further: King David purposefully brings to mind the ways God has helped him in the past.  He takes control of his own thoughts and examines them.  Where he has been believing lies, he changes.

During this holiday season, don’t depend on your spouse or your family to make you happy.  Don’t depend on your church to make you feel welcome or accepted.  Look to the Lord and bring your burdens to Him.  And as a little challenge I would challenge you to reach out to one person…one.  I will bet you that all around you are people just like you who are sad or hurting, who are wishing that someone would notice their pain and reach out in comfort.  If you are wishing someone would notice you and hug you and help…offer that to one other person.  It could be a co-worker, a family member, a neighbor, the “perfect lady” at church, a person in the nursing home down the road, or a homeless person.  Offer to one other person the caring and hug that you wish someone would offer you.

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Not Everybody Has Perfect Holidays

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Not everybody has perfect holidays

The economy is tough right now and many people are out of work, so they can barely pay there bills.  There just isn’t money for presents.

Some people are ill or have a loved one in the hospital.   Some people are alcoholic, addicted, mentally ill or clinically depressed, and the holidays just are not HAPPY.

Some people have a spouse who is committing adultery or who had an affair, and this year they are with the other person having the time of their lives, while the faithful spouse is home alone and left trying to explain to kids why “mommy” or “daddy” isn’t with them for Christmas.

Coping with “less than perfect” holidays starts with going easy on yourself. Here are some ideas to accept:

  • It’s okay if the holidays can’t be what they once were.  Just because you once had thousands of dollars to spend on presents doesn’t mean you do this year…and if you did it last year it doesn’t mean you have to do it this year.  Let the past BE in the past, and do what you can do this year.
  • There is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays.  You don’t have to get brand new electronics for Christmas, or spends thousands of dollars on decorating and the electric bill for lighting the whole house in Christmas lights.  Ask yourself what you want and ask your children what they want.  It is perfect acceptable to celebrate Christmas by spending the day in your pajamas, watching all 3 Lord of the Rings movies, and ordering a pizza if that is what would be celebrating to you.  Sometimes you feel like it’s expected of you…and other people don’t expect it at all!
  • Taking care of yourself must be a priority.  Yes I know the Holidays are a season of giving and thinking of others, but it is okay, during this season, to also take care of yourself .  I don’t mean you should be selfish or self-centered but it is reasonable, especially if you are going through financial worries, illness, or marital difficulties to take some time to care for you.

Here are some coping techniques:

  1. Don’t lose your faith.  Many people become angry with God when they lose their job, encounter a chronic illness, or lose their spouse.  “Where was HE?!!” they wonder.  “Why didn’t He stop this?”  During this time of trial, it can feel very painful and even lonely, but feelings do not determine the truth;  GOD determines the truth.  He has made promises to us:
    • that He will never leave us or forsake us (Deut. 3:16),
    • that He has plans for good and not for harm for our future (Jeremiah 29:11),
    • that He will give us rest  if we are weary and our burden is heavy (Matt. 11:28 and 29),
    • that He will give power to the weak (Isaiah 40:29-31)
    • that He will supply all our needs (Phil 4:19),
    • that NOTHING will separate us from Him (Romans 8:37-39).  
  2. Give yourself permission to “not be perfect”.  So often we hold ourselves to just IMPOSSIBLE standards.  If you can not decorate a tree–see if the kids want to do it, or enjoy the tree at the courthouse this year.  Make some adjustments in what you can do, and do the things you can do with joy.  If it’s not perfect….well oh well!  Big deal.
  3. Make new traditions.  Your old traditions about sharing a big family dinner together may not work anymore, and since there is no “right” and “wrong” way to celebrate the holidays, make NEW traditions that fit with the circumstances you’re in right now.  If you don’t have the finances–go to a meal at your church and enjoy the company of your church family.  If you are ill–go out to Christmas dinner and enjoy not having to do the dishes!   If your family is torn in two by an affair or the kids are grown up and out of the house–have a potluck meal and invite those who don’t HAVE a family to share the day with you.
  4. Volunteer.  So often we think of “what we don’t have anymore” and get depressed that we don’t have the money or don’t have the health or don’t have the family…and we forget what we DO have.  To break out of that cycle, instead of staying home and thinking of what you’ve lost, go to a nursing home and volunteer time with someone who would love to talk to you.  Volunteer to be Santa and pass out candy canes at your child’s school.  Go to the homeless shelter and share coffee and a meal with someone who has no home in the winter.  Go to your local animal shelter and care for an innocent, faithful, loving animal.   Trust me, suddenly your life won’t seem quite so bad and you’ll remember what you DO have.

Save our Marriage Saturday – Dec. 15th Linkup!

Today is  Save Our Marriage Saturday!

We have a tradition here at Affaircare. We call it “Save Our Marriage Saturday”–and we’re sharing the love.  Link-love that is!  Every Saturday we hold a link-up party so you can share a post of your own and we can all help each other to save our marriages!

Please share your post on any and all things related to saving your marriage after an affair, reconciling after you committed adultery, recovering your marriage after finding out that your spouse cheated, or keeping your marriage affair-free!

1. Please link to your actual “Save Our Marriage Saturday” post, not just the address to your blog or site home page.

2. Please leave me a comment–I would love to visit your site, return the favor, and follow you!

3. Please share the love with your fellow bloggers–Read and leave a comment on at least the two blogs above yours.

4. Please help me spread the word. Let’s create a community of Christian believers who want to bring glory to God by teaching our brothers and sisters about how to have a godly marriage, how to avoid the typical traps that lead to infidelity, and how to be a living testimony of forgiveness and reconciliation if one spouse is unfaithful.

5. Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. You can find the button code here for you to insert in your post:

HTML CODE:



Please click on the froggy to see the blog hop!

I LINK TO THESE GODLY LINK-UPS:
Beholding Glory’s Blog Hop List, No Ordinary Blog Hop: Family-Parenting-Marriage , The Alabaster Jar-Marital Oneness Mondays, Revive Your Marriage MondaysTime-Warp Wife-Titus 2sdays, …to Love, Honor and Vacuum–Wifey Wednesdays, Unveiled WifeGrace Alone/Women Taking a Stand–Thankful Thursdays, and Beholding Glory–Faith Filled Fridays.

What if my spouse won’t meet my needs?

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There is an age-old question we are asked here at Affaircare pretty regularly.   “So if my needs are not being met in my marriage, and I told my spouse but they just aren’t interested…what do I do?”  I think married couples throughout the centuries have struggled with this question, and since it’s often the justification for an affair, I thought it would be a wise idea to address this question.

The first thing is that we are looking at marriage backward.  In our society we’ve been taught/told that love is a feeling, that the person who loves you will automatically know what to do and how to do it, that when you love someone it will “come naturally,” and that the person you love who loves you will “complete you” and meet your every need almost intuitively.  The reason we get married is because we feel some sort of deep feelings that bond us together, and we marry to have OUR needs met.

In real life ….love is an ACTION, not a feeling at all.  When you love someone, you may not know them all that well, may not know their entire life history yet, may not know how they deal with the ups and downs of life, but you make a commitment to spend a lifetime studying them and learning how to love them.  You volunteer to share your thoughts and feelings and life with your spouse, so that they see the True You and come to KNOW you deeply…intimately…and you come to KNOW them.  You learn how to love them and what to do, because not everyone is shown love in the same way.  And if they aren’t shown love the same way you are, it can be really confusing or hard …. or feel unnatural!  In real life the reason we get married is to spend a lifetime meeting OUR SPOUSE’S needs!

So if you look at it from the proper point of view, “having your needs met” is not a goal of being married.  The goal (well….ONE of the goals) is for you to learn how to meet your spouse’s needs.  Let’s look at a few Biblical examples:

1. Abigail — 1 Samuel 25.  King David is in this sort of rural area, and some bad guys are hassling some farmers and shepherds–you know bullying.  So King David and his group fend off the bullies, and then ask the owner of the land they just defended if he would mind sharing some food and supplies.  The owner is pretty much a JERK!  His name is Nabal, and you guessed it, he is Abigail’s husband.  He pretty much tells King David and his men to shove it and is very disrespectful to the men who just saved him.  Naturally the men with King David are angry about being disrespected,  so they grab their weapons and head to Nabal’s to give him a piece of their mind.  Here’s where Abigail comes in!

Abigail hears about her husband’s bad attitude and the bad choices he made, and she wisely knows he’s about to be in a world of hurt!  So she prepares a feast and the supplies that King David’s men asked for and more, and she gets on her own donkey and rides to meet the angry mob of men.  She risks her own husband’s anger, but even moreso she risks her life confronting these angry men!  Then she does the most amazing thing possible: she humbles herself before King David and asks him not to be mad at her husband. but to place the blame on her in his place.

Now Abigail could have easily thought “MAN why am I married to such a jerk?  He’s mean; he pisses off the neighbors; he’s cranky; and now he’s made a whole group so mad they’re about to attack us!  What about MY emotional needs!  Why should I put up with such a curmudgeon?  Surely I deserve to be happy and loved…right?”  But do you see that anywhere in this bible passage?  No.  Nor do we see God “telling her” that she deserves to be treated gently and that it’s okay for her to break up her marriage and leave her husband to get her needs met!  Nope we see that Abigail is admired for her virtue, and what was her virtue?  She was loyal and faithful.  Her husband was a jerk, and she showed him by her ACTIONS what a woman of God would act like.  She ACTED in wisdom and love even when he was a spouse with whom it was hard to live!

What does Abigail teach you about when your spouse won’t meet your needs?

2. Hosea — The whole book of Hosea!   In this book of the Bible, through this prophet, God chooses to reveal our problem that we have with Him by using the biblical model of marriage to show us that our sinful behavior is like adultery to Him.  Hosea is commanded to find a woman of harlotry and marry her, and in the first chapter he reveals the problem at hand.    In the second chapter, Hosea catches his wife, Gomer, in an affair, and he responds as expected; in a furious rant!  After all, adultery is the most painful thing a person can live through, even more painful than a death in the family.  In the third chapter, Hosea is told by God to “Go Find Your Wife!” and when he does find her, she is being sold in the slave market as a prostitute.  He has to pay such a great price to get her out of the slave market that Hosea literally loses EVERYTHING.

In this entire book, nowhere does God tell Hosea it is okay for him to leave his prostitute wife “to get his needs met.”  In fact, God specifically uses Hosea’s faithfulness to an adulterous wife as an image of how faithful He has been to us even though we have been like wives selling ourselves to others!  And the third chapter… not only does God NOT say “Okay now your needs will finally be met, Hosea” but in order to redeem Gomer out of the slave market he has to lose EVERY THING.  The adultery is painful; the cost of redeeming her is STEEP!!!  But still he does it, and it is a wonderful image of how God has treated us.

What does Hosea teach you about when your spouse won’t meet your needs?

3. Mary — Matthew 1:18-25, 2:1-12, Luke 1:26-38, Luke 1:46-56, Luke 2:1-7, Luke 2:8-20.   We are all familiar with Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Her story is an amazing one–miraculous really.  For His own reasons, God chose HER as the means by which His Son, our Lord, would come onto this planet in human form.  But think about Mary for a moment.  She was a younger Jewish girl, in an area that was not particularly “well to do”…at a time when Jews were pretty oppressed by the Romans.  She was engaged to a nice young man in her town, looking forward to her wedding, and BOOM here comes God saying He’s going to make her pregnant and it will be the Messiah.  Okay that’s all well and good, but how is she going to explain that to her fiance?  According to Jewish law, he would have every right to throw her out on her ear and she’d NEVER get married because her reputation would be tarnished.  But does Mary say “Hey God, what about MY needs?  I’ll be an outcast!  No one will love me!  I’ll end up homeless or who knows what!”

No.  Her reply is to magnify the Lord!!  Verbatim, she said “Here I am” giving herself fully to the Lord to do as He wills.  Then she follows that up with “My soul glorifies the Lord  and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant”  WOW.  Her needs were not going to be met at all and she gave glory to GOD!!

What does Mary teach you about when your spouse won’t meet your needs?

When you are looking to your spouse to meet your needs, you are looking in the wrong place.

I link up with this godly link-ups:

The Alabaster Jar Beholding Glory

Save Our Marriage Saturday – December 8th

Today is  Save Our Marriage Saturday!

We have a tradition here at Affaircare. We call it “Save Our Marriage Saturday”–and we’re sharing the love.  Link-love that is!  Every Saturday we hold a link-up party so you can share a post of your own and we can all help each other to save our marriages!

Please share your post on any and all things related to saving your marriage after an affair, reconciling after you committed adultery, recovering your marriage after finding out that your spouse cheated, or keeping your marriage affair-free!

1. Please link to your actual “Save Our Marriage Saturday” post, not just the address to your blog or site home page.

2. Please leave me a comment–I would love to visit your site, return the favor, and follow you!

3. Please share the love with your fellow bloggers–Read and leave a comment on at least the two blogs above yours.

4. Please help me spread the word. Let’s create a community of Christian believers who want to bring glory to God by teaching our brothers and sisters about how to have a godly marriage, how to avoid the typical traps that lead to infidelity, and how to be a living testimony of forgiveness and reconciliation if one spouse is unfaithful.

5. Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. You can find the button code here for you to insert in your post:

HTML CODE:



Please click on the froggy to see the blog hop!

I LINK TO THESE GODLY LINK-UPS:
Beholding Glory’s Blog Hop List, No Ordinary Blog Hop: Family-Parenting-Marriage , The Alabaster Jar-Marital Oneness Mondays, Revive Your Marriage MondaysTime-Warp Wife-Titus 2sdays, …to Love, Honor and Vacuum–Wifey Wednesdays, Unveiled WifeGrace Alone/Women Taking a Stand–Thankful Thursdays, and Beholding Glory–Faith Filled Fridays.