You’ve suspected for a while that something is not right between you and your spouse. Maybe they are chatting or texting all the time and then deleting everything so you can’t see it. Maybe they have completely changed their music, hairstyle, or clothing choices to something appropriate for someone decades younger. Maybe they were spending lots of extra hours “at work” but there was no overtime on their paycheck.
Whatever the reasons, you have a sneaking suspicion something isn’t right…and you have decided to verify what your spouse has been telling you. Often when people think of snooping on their spouse, high tech gadgetry comes to mind, and nowadays there are plenty of nearly miraculous gadgets! There are keyloggers, GPS systems, mini-cameras, and voice-activated recorders the size of a matchbox. But not all verifying has to be “high tech.” Sometimes some simple time and double checking will do the trick…low tech style:
Some low-tech methods will prove things just as clearly and much less expensively–it just takes some of your time and effort. Here are several low-tech options:
- Keep track of all incoming phone calls at home. Record the time and any info that comes up on the caller ID (name, phone number) for all calls.
- Keep track of your spouse’s mileage, receipts, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, phone records, etc. Although this may sound daunting, we don’t mean you have to write down the mileage on the car every night…but if they “filled the tank” today and supposedly only drove to work and back 5 miles each way and now they have to “fill the tank” again…some extra miles were in there somewhere! Look at any receipts you find, look at the itemization of your credit card (wait there’s a charge in XYZ city on this date when s/he said s/he was in ABC city). Be specific and look CLOSELY the CC statement, the bank statement, and the phone bill!!
- Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected times, or make announcements about having to work late, but then come home early, etc.
- If you can, check your spouse’s call log–maybe by looking at the bill. Look for an unusual amount of phone calls or text messages. Keep in mind that cheating spouses often store their lover’s phone number under someone else’s name: a friend, a co-worker, etc.
- Keep a journal of your spouse’s reported activities. Write down the times, dates, places, other people involved, excuses given, etc. Your journal will become invaluable as you compare what’s said with phone bills, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, talk to other people, etc. A cheating spouse is likely to change his or her story, or question your memory, so keeping a record of everything is critical. (I personally recommend a DayTimer type calendar so you can write each day the reported activity, dates, times, excuses etc. maybe in one blue….and the true facts from cell, CC or bank statement in black.)
On Wednesdays, I join these two Godly Link-ups:
- Back to Basics – Step 1 of 7 Steps To End An Affair (affaircare.com)
- Privacy versus Secrecy…there is a difference! (affaircare.com)
- 7 Reasons Why You May Want to Spy If You Suspect Your Spouse is Cheating! (affaircare.com)