Monthly Archives: August 2012

Happiness Month! Day 30: Sweet

Today is Day 30 of Happiness Month and it is almost over!  Can you believe it? This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life: Sweet!  Some days it’s appropriate to stand up for yourself and enforce boundaries…and other days it’s appropriate to be the sweet, loving person you are inside. Choose to be sweet today–and for fun share something sweet (like go out for a piece of pie)!

The word “sweet” can be an adjective (describing you) or a noun.  As an adjective, it means:

  • Having the pleasant taste characteristic of sugar or honey; not salty, sour, or bitter.

And as a noun, “sweet” means:

  • Used as an affectionate form of address to a person one is very fond of: “hello, my sweet”.

Now I realize that when people use the term “sweet” to describe a person they don’t really mean that they taste like sugar or honey!  But they may very well mean that the person is not sour or is not bitter, and they may definitely be thinking back to the day when you two called each other affectionate names.  So to add some happiness to your life today, take a moment to look in the mirror.  Do you act, behave and talk like a sour old grouch?  Do you complain or find fault with everything?  Are you bitter because life wasn’t “fair” and you didn’t get what you “deserve”?  Then today is the day to add happiness by being sweet!  Act, behave and talk pleasant.  Find one good thing in everything your spouse does or says and then say it out loud to them.  Instead of viewing what you “didn’t get” in life, look at what you DID GET!!  And demonstrate this “turning over a new leaf” by sharing a sweet dessert with your spouse while you call them by their affectionate name!  Sweet as Cherry Pie!

Over the past month, we have gone over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

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Happiness Month! Day 29: Surprise


Today is Day 29 of Happiness Month and it is almost over!  Can you believe it? This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life: Surprise!  Be sneaky, be devious, and plan a big surprise for your spouse or your friend…enjoy their joy and the surprise on their face!

The word “surprise” can be both a noun and a verb.  As a noun, it means:

  • An unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing.

As a verb–that means an action where we have to do something–it means”

  • Cause someone to feel mild astonishment or shock over something unexpected.

Just like yesterday’s post about being spontaneous, it’s hard to “plan” a surprise, but we women often say how much we enjoy “the little things” and what are “the little things” if not the occasional nice surprise?  Sometimes it’s a little gift to show you were thinking of them.  Sometimes it’s wearing something your spouse has always wanted you to wear and you didn’t want to wear it.  Sometimes it’s making dinner for her or rubbing his feet for him.  Sometimes it’s writing “I love you” on the mirror so they see it in the morning.  Sometimes it’s paying a bill because you earned a little extra money.  Whatever it is, give your spouse that feeling of mild astonishment–and increase your own happiness by pleasing them.

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

Happiness Month! Day 28: Spontaneous

 

Today is Day 28 of Happiness Month and it will be continuing all month long. This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life: Spontaneous!   Don’t plan. Don’t schedule. Just go on the spur of the moment, be crazy, and have fun. Be Happy.

The word “spontaneous” is an adjective.  It means:

  1. Performed or occurring without premeditation or external stimulus: “spontaneous applause“.
  2.  Having a natural, and uninhibited manner.

Some people, myself included, love the security and consistency of a plan.  I make lists of everything and then prioritize them and then I follow the list.  It’s a great way to get the “most important things” done but I lose a lot of the joy of having a natural, uninhibited manner.  So today, to add some happiness to your life, do something spontaneous.  Yes–PLAN to be spontaneous! LOL

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

Happiness Month! Day 27: Spirituality

Today is Day 27 of Happiness Month and it will be continuing all month long. This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life: Spirituality!   “…the deepest values and meanings by which people live.”  Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life.  So take time out today to pray or attend a worship service.

The word “spirituality” is a noun, and it means:

  •  sensitivity or attachment to religious values.
  •  the quality of one’s sensitivity to the things of the spirit.

This day and age, people use that term to mean SO MANY things, but since Affaircare is a site that offers Christian nouthetic counseling, I’m going to focus my comments today on Christian spirituality and how that relates to happiness.  One justification that people frequently give for having an affair is something like “I deserve to be happy” and all month we’ve been discussing how happiness is not a feeling, but rather a choice to be happy.  This whole month we’ve been talking about ways to increase your happiness every day.   But to find real happiness and truly reconcile your marriage requires more than just your will or determination.  It requires God.

The Bible tells us that all of us (including me!) are sinners and fall short of the perfection required by God–see Romans 3:23.  Yes, God requires perfection–not just “do your best” or “try really hard.”   Because we are all sinful, we are spiritually dead–see Ephesians 2:1.   II Corinthians 5:21 says that “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us” so we could be brought back to spiritual life!   Romans 5:6 tells us that while we were without strength (spiritually dead)  that Christ died for us in our place.

Envision people in a sea who are drowned, and the “sea” is the sin that we live in every day….and the drowning is the spiritual death.  We can’t even help ourselves!  We’re dead!   The consequence for sin is spiritual death–but God loved us and sent His Son to pay the penalty in our place.  Justice was served and the price was paid!  Christ’s death and resurrection are like a spiritual lifeline, and God pulls us out of the sin we’ve drowned in and brings us back to life!

You know there’s that one verse in John that everyone knows:  John 3:16For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life”?   Now you know what it means!  To find TRUE happiness and TRULY reconcile your marriage after adultery requires God.

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.
The Alabaster Jar  

Happiness Month! Day 25: Relief -and- Save Our Marriage Saturday

Today is Day 25 of Happiness Month and it will be continuing all month long. This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life:  Relief!  We all carry lists of things “to do” and it’s like a burden weighing down our happiness. Release one thing from your list today and let the relief of letting it go make you happy!

The word “relief” is a noun, and it means:

  1. A feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress.
  2. A cause of or occasion for such a feeling.

Over the years, I’ve found that often people slowly but surely strangle their marriage with a list in their head of what they THINK their spouse expects of them….or with a list in their head of what they expect of their spouse but never communicate clearly.  Gradually, over time, they become less and less happy with their life and their marriage .  Today, add some happiness by dropping one thing off your list.  Maybe it’s one of those “I should…” chores that you think everyone holds you to, but no one does.  Maybe it’s one of your spouse’s chores–give them a day off and enjoy their happiness over that relief!  Maybe it’s one of the things on your “To Do” list that you’ve had on there for a year and you just can’t get to it but every time you see it, you feel defeated–let it go!  Lighten your load and add happiness to yourself, your life and your marriage.

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

Today is also Save Our Marriage Saturday.

We have a tradition here at Affaircare. We call it “Save Our Marriage Saturday”–and we’re sharing the love.  Link-love that is!  Every Saturday we hold a link-up party so you can share a post of your own and we can all help each other to save our marriages!

Please share your post on any and all things related to saving your marriage after an affair, reconciling after you committed adultery, recovering your marriage after finding out that your spouse cheated, or keeping your marriage affair-free!

1. Please link to your actual “Save Our Marriage Saturday” post, not just the address to your blog or site home page.

2. Please leave me a comment–I would love to visit your site, return the favor, and follow you!

3. Please share the love with your fellow bloggers–Read and leave a comment on at least the two blogs above yours.

4. Please help me spread the word. Let’s create a community of Christian believers who want to bring glory to God by teaching our brothers and sisters about how to have a godly marriage, how to avoid the typical traps that lead to infidelity, and how to be a living testimony of forgiveness and reconciliation if one spouse is unfaithful.

5. Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. You can find the button code here for you to insert in your post:

HTML CODE:

Want to join the Link-up?  Click here to add your blog!


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I LINK TO THESE GODLY LINK-UPS:
Beholding Glory’s Blog Hop List, No Ordinary Blog Hop: Family-Parenting-Marriage , The Alabaster Jar-Marital Oneness Mondays, Time-Warp Wife-Titus 2sdays, …to Love, Honor and Vacuum–Wifey Wednesdays, Grace Alone/Women Taking a Stand–Thankful Thursdays, and Beholding Glory–Faith Filled Fridays.

Happiness Month! Day 24: Play

Today is Day 24 of Happiness Month and it will be continuing all month long. This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life:  Play!!  Remember squit guns and merry-go-rounds and swinging so high you thought you’d flip over? Why don’t we do that anymore?

The word “play” is both a noun and a verb.  As a noun, it means:

  • Activity engaged in for enjoyment and recreation.

As a verb it is an action we have to DO…and it means:

  • Engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

Now playing can mean different things to different people.  I’m sure some married couples can not even imagine playing with their spouse–after all, they are “grown ups” and “grown ups” don’t behave like that.  But in order to give your marriage some joy and give your own happiness a shot in the arm, it is vitally important to play with your spouse!  Dear Hubby and I happen to play several games together–our rule is that we don’t play them “by ourselves” so the game doesn’t become a higher priority that each other.  But we also go have picnics, listen to music, watch movies, read books to each other, go to classic car shows, watch football…we do ALL KINDS of fun, playful things together.  My Dear Hubby does not roll down hills or tickle–that does not mean “fun” or playing to him.  So the trick is to find out what your spouse finds enjoyable and either learn a bit about it yourself and share their interest…maybe ask them to explain it to you… or to share with them something that YOU find fun and show them why they might enjoy it as well!

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

 

Beholding Glory

Happiness Month! Day 23: Peace

Today is Day 22 of Happiness Month and it will be continuing all month long. This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life:  Peace!  Life is a constant stream of drama and stress threatening to play havok with your happiness, so to be happier, remember to take time to be peaceful.

The word “peace” is a noun, and it means:

  • Freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility

Over the last 22 days we’ve been going over ways to increase the happiness in your life every day … and then applying that day’s topic to marriage and to marriages struggling with an affair specifically.  Today’s topic–Peace–is a huge one.  How often have you come home and been immediately met at the door with a spouse that’s wants to fight?  How often has the tranquility of your home been disturbed by loud disagreements?  Have you made your home something that your spouse would consider a haven from the outside pressures of work and “the world”?  Or is your home filled with discord, lack of harmony, and more stress?  If your home has NOT been a peaceful haven–what can you do today to start to make it the one place where your spouse can come and get relief, destress, and feel safe?  Philippians 4:6-7 tells us the way to peace: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  

The stress of infidelity on a marriage is ENORMOUS.  Just on a personal level it can bring people to the brink of what they can bear and stay sane!  The strain on the family is just as great,  disturbing every routine.  But your spouse’s choice to be unfaithful does not have to disrupt the peace. There are six things you can do to bring the peace back, even while your spouse is having an affair:

  • Pray–Philippians 4:6-7
  • Serve Christ–Romans 14:17-19
  • Love–2 Corinthians 13:11
  • Obey–Psalm 119:65
  • Trust–Isaiah 12:2
  • Have Faith–Romans 5:1

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

Happiness Month! Day 22: Optimism

Today is Day 22 of Happiness Month and it will be continuing all month long. This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life:  Optimism!  Some people have naturally optimistic personalities, but if you are not someone blessed with that trait, today is your day to practice looking at your glass as half full.

The word “optimism” is a noun, and it means:

  1. Hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something.
  2. The belief that this world is the best of all possible worlds.

Some people are born optimistic and it comes to them like breathing–that’s just how they are.  Others see things more skeptically (or they might say “realistically”) and they accuse optimists of being Pollyanna-ish or wearing rose colored glasses.  But since we know that happiness is a CHOICE and not something that someone else “makes” you feel, you can add happiness to your life today if you actually practice seeing the silver lining in the clouds.  That doesn’t mean you don’t see the clouds!  Just for today, practice the seeing the bright side of life and say it out loud.  Optimism can be extremely hard while your spouse is involved in an affair, but it can mean a lot to the recovery of the marriage if your attitude is positive, hopeful, and conveys that the future will be okay.

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.

Happiness Month! Day 21: Nostalgia

Today is Day 21 of Happiness Month and it will be continuing all month long. This all started at the Secret Society of Happy People and if you want to pop over there and become an Amused Member, you can get a Free 31 Types of Happiness poster. As you can tell by my daily #HappinessHappens tweets and Facebook posts, I’ve been a member for a long, long time!

Today, to add happiness to your life:  Nostalgia!   Happiness gets a shot in the arm when you “remember when…” Remember those Christmases as a kid? Your bestest bestest friend? That first date? The birth of your first child? See that smile on your face? Take a little time to be nostalgic today.

The word “nostalgia” is a noun.  It means:

  1. A sentimental longing for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.
  2. The evocation of these feelings or tendencies.

Remember how much you were looking forward to loving someone?  Remember when you first met your spouse? Remember how handsome he was or how pretty she looked?  Remember how fun it was getting to know him/her?  Remember how much time you spent together?  Remember how you told him/her EVERYTHING?  Remember how you did all those special little things for him or her?  Remember how nervous you were when you got engaged?  Remember the wedding?  And the honeymoon!

Over the next days, we’ll be going over all 31 ways to Add Happiness Every Day. You know too often I hear young people say “He doesn’t make me happy” or “I wish she would make me happy” but you know what? Happiness is not something that someone else “makes” you feel. You make choices in your life that can affect your happiness….and ultimately you CHOOSE whether to be happy every day or not. You can also choose to do things that would add happiness to your life every single today.