Question of the Week: 7/29-8/4

How did you find out about your spouse’s infidelity?  Please tell us about it by posting a comment.

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12 thoughts on “Question of the Week: 7/29-8/4

  1. My husband fortunately did not have a physical affair, but was addicted to pornography for a good portion of our married life. I was having my normal morning ritual of quiet time, Facebook, and bloghopping. I hit the “back” button after checking the news and there was a girly picture. I hit back again and there was another– a whole gallery from a talk radio website. (I later realized how common “babe pages” are on news and radio sites.) This discovery, which my husband calls a “near-death experience” led to the uncovering of the whole sordid truth, his genuine repentance, and through many tears and much heartache, a marriage that’s better than it ever was.

    1. Thanks for sharing, M. I’m so sorry he got tangled up in that addiction, but I’m so encouraged to hear that you two saved your marriage and that it’s better than ever. I pray that will bring hope to others “out there” that it IS possible!

  2. Kind of hits close to home. I was the addicted one – very tough to stop and almost crashed my marriage twice before – but my wife forgavea nd came back. Eventually it crept back in until I learned of the physiological changes it makes to the brain and why its so addictive. That was enough for me to drop it right there.. Unfortunately when I shared it with my wife – she was floored that I had lied again and stopped trying to save our marriage – she hooked up with her previous fiance from 27 yrs ago. She wants a divorce – how ironic it is to me.
    She sat down one night and simply said it without emotion – she was/is totally detached and treats me like a stranger, after 25 yrs and 2 kids …

    1. I’m so sorry G. Speaking as someone who was formerly disloyal, it is very often the case that the disloyal does have some have some personal issues that they have to work through and figure out so they can understand and protect themselves (and their marriage) from their own weaknesses…yet by the time the disloyal spouse puts it all together, the covenant has been broken and the loyal spouse has the moral right to choose to move on and divorce. It’s so sad! Thank God for the ones, like my Dear Hubby!

    1. Oh my goodness! How horrible! I’m so sorry you found out like that! Are you two still together? Are you attempting to reconcile or has he gone “straight for a quick divorce” as they often do while involved with the Other Person…in an attempt to legitimize it?

    1. Oh Katie, I’m so sorry. What a shocking way to find out. May I ask, what is your status? Are you trying to end the affair and save your marriage by yourself? Or are the two of you reconciling? Or have one of you decided to file for divorce?

  3. After noting secretive computer use, phone calls, and texting, I “broke into” her Facebook account and read her chat log. I discovered that not only is my wife having an affair, but it is with a woman.

  4. I got tired of him guarding his cell phone and being secretive with it. I checked the phone logs online and discovered the relationship of over a year. We are working on our marriage, but I am angry. Really, really a.n.g.r.y. I am not perfect, but I was loyal.

    1. I understand your anger. Be grateful he is willing to work on your marriage. My wife has totally checked out without giving us a chance. She thinks she is going to be happy with her girlfriend. Her family has basically disowned her, our kids are angry at her (and all they know is Mom is gone). Yet she thinks the sacrifice of everything is worth it. I hope things work out better for you.

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