AFFAIRCARE

…nouthetic, Christian care after an affair.

April 30, 2012 by 2 Comments

I saw these verses today and I wanted to share with my blog friends, because lately I’ve been hearing story after story of a spouse “falling in love” with someone at church, and then justifying their affair by saying “Well, he is an elder (or she is in the music ministry) and we can serve God better if we leave our spouses.”  Or even worse, I’ve heard of loyal spouses going to their pastor and telling their spiritual leader that their spouse is involved in adultery, AND THE MINISTER won’t tell him/her to end the affair because they are youth group leaders together!!!

The verse is James 1: 13-15 “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

At first I kind of struggled with this one, because it seems to say God does not tempt people with evil–and I personally believe that our God, as the Lord God Almighty, is actually sovereign over everything including evil. I don’t think He just “sits back and allows it to happen” but rather, He is actively involved and foreordains EVERYTHING! So…what does this mean? Well I looked at the Greek and a possibly better way of translating it might be “When tempted, no one should say, ‘Of God I am tempted.’….”

God has made it clear that adultery does not please Him, and it is sin to commit adultery.

“Do not commit adultery.”  (Ex 20:14)

“How senseless is the adulterer! Whoever commits adultery destroys himself.”  (Prov 6:32)

“You have heard that it was said: Do not commit adultery. But I tell you this: anyone who looks at a woman to satisfy his lust has in fact already committed adultery with her in his heart. ” (Mt 5:27-28)

“Avoid unlawful sex entirely. Any other sin a person commits is outside the body but those who commit sexual immorality sin against their own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, given by God? You belong no longer to yourselves.” (1 Cor 6:18-19)

“the will of God for you is to become holy and not to have unlawful sex. Let each of you behave towards his wife as a holy and respectful husband, rather than being led by lust, as are pagans who do not know God.” (1 Thess 4:3-5)

Marriage must be respected by all and husband and wife faithful to each other. God will punish the immoral and the adulterous.”  (Heb 13:4)

“You adulterers! Don’t you know that making friends with the world makes you enemies of God? Therefore, whoever chooses to be the world’s friend becomes God’s enemy.” (Jas 4:4)

So then don’t fool yourself.  If you are married but attracted to that deacon in church, it is not “God bringing you two together”!!! It’s not God’s will for you to divorce your husband so you can minister more effectively with the deacon–or to sing praise to His name with the slinky lady in the Praise Choir!  NOOOO! If you really want to effectively minister and bring glory to God’s name, obey what He has told you very clearly, and then be a testimony of the blessings God brings to those who obey Him.

Sooooo…if you’re tempted, it started when you were dragged away by your own evil desire to want more than your marriage, and that desire leads to sin, and sin gives birth to spiritual death.   Instead of using “God made me to it…”as your justification, please do the right thing–end your affair, return to your marriage, honor the vows you made before God and family, and be a living testimony for how to love your spouse and rebuild a godly marriage.  That would be a ministry!!

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Categories: Affair, Christian, Fidelity, marriage, personal reflection, The Church | Tags: , , , , , , | Permalink.

2 thoughts on ““God made me do it….””

  1. Jason@SongSix3
    May 3, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    I have been privy to a situation where this happened in a church near to our hearts. An married elder in the church became far too familiar with a married woman in ministry within the church. They ended up running away to another state with each other, leaving behind both their spouses AND children, totally devastating two complete families. It is my understanding that today those two are in some sort of church work far away. I believe that God is so grieved that their “ministry” will NEVER be honored. The whole situation just makes my heart sick!

    Reply

  2. Pearl
    May 7, 2012 at 6:44 PM

    WOW Cindy, it’s hard to believe that anyone could justify their actions in such a way as you describe! The alarm needs to sound within our own hearts when there is but a tickle of temptation. If this tiny bit of temptation is felt, we need to evaluate our marriage and work to strengthen it. Beginning with PRAYER for God to open our hearts and eyes to where we need to start, usually with ourselves. And then YES, “be a testimony of the blessings God brings to those who obey!!” GREAT REMINDER of God’s boundaries.

    Reply

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