Menu
…nouthetic, Christian care after an affair.
July 5, 2011 by Cindy at AffaircareLeave a comment
It’s Day Five of our Husband Encouragement Challenge, and today’s challenge is all about your husband and the words you speak about him to others.
DAY FIVE
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Eph. 4:29
Another way to describe the positive side of this “30-Day Encouragement Challenge” is by using the word “edify,” which means, “to build up.” Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build. Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to other family members. Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband’s mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him – in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.
By Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Published by Revive Our Hearts, © 2005. Permission granted to photocopy in the exact form, including copyright. All other uses require written permission.
Revive Our Hearts * P.O. Box 2000, Niles, MI 49120 * www.ReviveOurHearts.com
As wives we live with our husbands day-in and day-out and see their personal foibles and flaws–their peculiar habits and hidden struggles. Yet so often we fall into the trap of finding a girlfriend or a group of girlfriends to whom we turn to “tell our troubles to.” We’ll go to that friend, or that women’s group, and say things like, “Well you won’t believe what he did THIS week…” and the juicy gossip and criticism begins. We point out his every mistake. We turn to a sister who has “been there done that” and tell her every single time he hurts our feelings or doesn’t behave well. We tell ourselves we need someone who understands how we feel…
Or sometimes we ARE that friend. All our lady friends turn to us and tell us all their woes: “He did THIS and he did THAT…” and we sit and listen. In an attempt to be “supportive” we might say “Oh you deserve better!” or “You are so right not to take that from him!” Not only do we encourage our friend to “talk to us about it” we also encourage her in talking badly about her husband and in acting against him, but them at odds with each other rather than on the same team! [FYI: a true friend would tell her “You need to speak with your husband about this, not me” and would encourage her to be a husband lover (Titus 2:4) and be united with him…not against him!]
Our words come from our heart–our innermost being, our thoughts. If our words about our husbands concentrate on his shortcomings and focus on his mistakes, that means our hearts will be see everything that’s wrong with him too. But our tongue CAN be mastered, and changing what you say out loud can have an effect on your thoughts. If, instead of speaking your husband’s flaws aloud, you spoke about his GOOD qualities and what you love about him and the GOOD thing he just did yesterday…it would affect the way you THINK about him and the way you see him. In addition, if you were speaking with your girlfriends or your mom and sisters, and you were telling them his GOOD qualities and what you love about him and the GOOD thing he just did yesterday…it would change the way THEY see him too!
So practice today. Look at yourself honestly and admit where you’ve spoken and torn your husband down…and today make a complete 180 and build him up with your words.
Related articles
- Team Edify! (edifytoday.com)
About these adsvar wpcom_adclk_hovering = false;var wpcom_adclk_recorded = false;var wpcom_adclk_theme = “Yoko”;var wpcom_adclk_slot = “wpcom_below_post_adsafe”;var wpcom_adclk_network = ( typeof wpcom_adclk_network === “undefined” ) ? “” : wpcom_adclk_network ;jQuery(document).ready( function() {function wpcom_adclk_hover_yes() { wpcom_adclk_hovering = true; }function wpcom_adclk_hover_no() { wpcom_adclk_hovering = false; }jQuery(“.wpa”).click(wpcom_adclk_click);jQuery(“.wpa iframe”).hover( wpcom_adclk_hover_yes, wpcom_adclk_hover_no );jQuery(“.wpa object”).hover( wpcom_adclk_hover_yes, wpcom_adclk_hover_no );jQuery(window).blur( function() {if ( wpcom_adclk_hovering ) { wpcom_adclk_click(); }});});function wpcom_adclk_impression() {var stat_gif = document.location.protocol”//pixel.wp.com/g.gif?v=wpcom-no-pv”;stat_gif += “&x_ads_imp_theme=”wpcom_adclk_theme;stat_gif += “&x_ads_imp_placement=”+wpcom_adclk_slot;stat_gif += “&x_ads_imp_network=”wpcom_adclk_network;stat_gif += “&x_ads_imp_theme_network=”+wpcom_adclk_theme+”_”+wpcom_adclk_network;new Image().src = stat_gif”&baba=”Math.random();return true;}function wpcom_adclk_click() {if (wpcom_adclk_recorded) { return true; } // no double countingvar stat_gif = document.location.protocol”//pixel.wp.com/g.gif?v=wpcom-no-pv”;stat_gif += “&x_ads_click_theme=”wpcom_adclk_theme;stat_gif += “&x_ads_click_placement=”+wpcom_adclk_slot;stat_gif += “&x_ads_click_network=”wpcom_adclk_network;stat_gif += “&x_ads_click_theme_network=”+wpcom_adclk_theme+”_”+wpcom_adclk_network;new Image().src = stat_gif”&baba=”Math.random();wpcom_adclk_recorded = true;var now=new Date(); var end=now.getTime()+250;while(true){now=new Date();if(now.getTime()>end){break;}}return true;}if ( typeof GA_googleAddAttr == ‘function’ ) {GA_googleAddAttr(“AdOpt”, “1”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Origin”, “other”);GA_googleAddAttr(“LangId”, “1”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Domain”, “affaircare.com”);GA_googleAddAttr(“BlogId”, “13071271”);GA_googleAddAttr(“PageURL”, “http://affaircare.com/2011/07/05/but-i-need-someone-to-commiserate-with-dont-i/”);GA_googleAddAttr(“AdSafe”, “1”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Autotag”, “family”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Autotag”, “religion”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Autotag”, “books”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Tag”, “christian”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Tag”, “love-extinguishers”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Tag”, “marriage”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Tag”, “personal-reflection”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Tag”, “family”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Tag”, “home”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Tag”, “husband”);GA_googleAddAttr(“Partner”, “AOL”);GA_googleAddAttr(“theme_bg”, “ffffff”);GA_googleAddAttr(“theme_text”, “777777”);GA_googleAddAttr(“theme_link”, “009bc2”);GA_googleAddAttr(“theme_border”, “dddddd”);GA_googleAddAttr(“theme_url”, “009bc2”);GA_googleAddAdSensePageAttr(“google_page_url”, “http://affaircare.com/2011/07/05/but-i-need-someone-to-commiserate-with-dont-i/”);GA_googleFillSlot(“wpcom_below_post_adsafe”);}jQuery( window ).load( function() { if ( jQuery(“.wpa script[src*=’virool.com’]”).length > 0 || jQuery(“.wpa script[src*=’shareth.ru’]”).length > 0 || jQuery(“.wpa iframe[src*=’boomvideo.tv’]”).length > 0 || jQuery(“.wpa iframe[src*=’viewablemedia.net’]”).length > 0 || jQuery(“.wpa .sharethrough-placement”).length > 0 ) { jQuery( ‘.wpa’ ).css( ‘width’, ‘400px’ ); }setTimeout(function(){if(typeof GS_googleAddAdSenseService !== ‘function’){new Image().src=document.location.protocol+”//pixel.wp.com/g.gif?v=wpcom-no-pv&x_noads=adblock&baba=”+Math.random()}},100);} );
Do you love it? SHARE IT!!
Categories: Christian, Love Extinguishers, marriage, personal reflection, Uncategorized | Tags: Family, Home, Husband | Permalink.
Leave a Reply
Email (required) (Address never made public)Name (required)Website
You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change )
You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change )
You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change )
You are commenting using your Google+ account. ( Log Out / Change )
Connecting to %s
var highlander_expando_javascript = function(){var input = document.createElement( ‘input’ ), comment = jQuery( ‘#comment’ );if ( ‘placeholder’ in input ) {comment.attr( ‘placeholder’, jQuery( ‘.comment-textarea label’ ).remove().text() );}// Expando Mode: start small, then auto-resize on first clicktext lengthjQuery( ‘#comment-form-identity’ ).hide();jQuery( ‘#comment-form-subscribe’ ).hide();jQuery( ‘#commentform .form-submit’ ).hide();comment.css( { ‘height’:’10px’ } ).one( ‘focus’, function() {var timer = setInterval( HighlanderComments.resizeCallback, 10 )jQuery( this ).animate( { ‘height’: HighlanderComments.initialHeight } ).delay( 100 ).queue( function(n) { clearInterval( timer ); HighlanderComments.resizeCallback(); n(); } );jQuery( ‘#comment-form-identity’ ).slideDown();jQuery( ‘#comment-form-subscribe’ ).slideDown();jQuery( ‘#commentform .form-submit’ ).slideDown();});}jQuery(document).ready( highlander_expando_javascript );
Notify me of new comments via email.
Notify me of new posts via email.
Post navigation← Previous PostNext Post →
Affaircare Forums
Follow our blog
Subscribe to Affaircare and get tips in your email about keeping your marriage affair-free or saving your marriage after an affair!
.
Join 588 other followers
Do you want help delivered right to your inbox?
Download the Affaircare Podcast
On iTunes: 
On Stitcher: 
Download the Affaircare APP!
Romance Calendar
Are you ‘romance-impaired’? Do you need a little help remembering how to be romantic? Here’s one romantic idea every day!
Prayer Requests
Chat with Affaircare
We are on Pacific Time and if we are not available to chat, it will email us!
Follow Us, Like Us, Pin Us, Link to us, Join our Circle!
Affaircare Google+ Page
Affaircare Google+ Profile
Partner Spot #1
Partner Spot #2
Partner Spot #3
Partner Spot #4
Mid Partner Spots
Mid Partner Spots
Mid Partner Spots
Mid Partner Spots
The Affaircare Feed
Support Affaircare!
And while you’re shopping on Amazon, don’t forget our book: “Affaircare: Caring for Your Marriage After an Affair”!NetworkedBlogsBlog:AffaircareTopics: Infidelity, Marriage, Christian Follow my blog
This entire site, the articles and the blogs are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Map of our Readers
Blog at WordPress.com. | The Yoko Theme.
Top/* */var WPGroHo = {“my_hash”:””};/* ]]> *///initialize and attach hovercards to all gravatarsjQuery( document ).ready( function( $ ) {if ( typeof Gravatar.init !== “function” ) {return;}Gravatar.profile_cb = function( hash, id ) {WPGroHo.syncProfileData( hash, id );};Gravatar.my_hash = WPGroHo.my_hash;Gravatar.init( ‘body’, ‘#wp-admin-bar-my-account’ );});/* */var HighlanderComments = {“loggingInText”:”Logging Inu2026″,”submittingText”:”Posting Commentu2026″,”postCommentText”:”Post Comment”,”connectingToText”:”Connecting to %s”,”commentingAsText”:”%1$s: You are commenting using your %2$s account.”,”logoutText”:”Log Out”,”loginText”:”Log In”,”connectURL”:”http://affaircare.wordpress.com/public.api/connect/?action=request”,”logoutURL”:”https://affaircare.wordpress.com/wp-login.php?action=logout&_wpnonce=6253978d9b”,”homeURL”:”http://affaircare.com/”,”postID”:”461″,”gravDefault”:”blank”,”enterACommentError”:”Please enter a comment”,”enterEmailError”:”Please enter your email address here”,”invalidEmailError”:”Invalid email address”,”enterAuthorError”:”Please enter your name here”,”gravatarFromEmail”:”This picture will show whenever you leave a comment. Click to customize it.”,”logInToExternalAccount”:”Log in to use details from one of these accounts.”,”change”:”Change”,”changeAccount”:”Change Account”,”comment_registration”:””,”userIsLoggedIn”:””,”isJetpack”:”0″};/* ]]> */Follow
Follow “AFFAIRCARE”
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.
Join 588 other followers
Build a website with WordPress.com//>WPCOM_sharing_counts = {“http://affaircare.com/2011/07/05/but-i-need-someone-to-commiserate-with-dont-i/”:461}jQuery(document).on( ‘ready post-load’, function(){jQuery( ‘a.share-facebook’ ).on( ‘click’, function() {window.open( jQuery(this).attr( ‘href’ ), ‘wpcomfacebook’, ‘menubar=1,resizable=1,width=600,height=400’ );return false;});});jQuery(document).on( ‘ready post-load’, function(){jQuery( ‘a.share-twitter’ ).on( ‘click’, function() {window.open( jQuery(this).attr( ‘href’ ), ‘wpcomtwitter’, ‘menubar=1,resizable=1,width=600,height=350’ );return false;});});jQuery( document ).ready( function() { jQuery.getScript( ‘//platform.linkedin.com/in.js?async=true’, function success() { IN.init(); });});jQuery( document.body ).on( ‘post-load’, function() {if ( typeof IN != ‘undefined’ )IN.parse();});// Pinterest shared resourcesvar s = document.createElement(“script”);s.type = “text/javascript”;s.async = true;s.src = window.location.protocol”//assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js”;var x = document.getElementsByTagName(“script”)[0];x.parentNode.insertBefore(s, x);// if ‘Pin it’ button has ‘counts’ make container widerjQuery(window).load( function(){ jQuery( ‘li.share-pinterest a span:visible’ ).closest( ‘.share-pinterest’ ).width( ’80px’ ); } ); (function() { var po = document.createElement(‘script’); po.type = ‘text/javascript’; po.async = true; po.src = ‘https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js’; var s = document.getElementsByTagName(‘script’)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(po, s); })();Send to Email AddressYour NameYour Email AddressCancelPost was not sent – check your email addresses!Email check failed, please try againSorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.%d bloggers like this:
if ( ‘object’ === typeof wpcom_mobile_user_agent_info ) {wpcom_mobile_user_agent_info.init();var mobileStatsQueryString = “”;if( false !== wpcom_mobile_user_agent_info.matchedPlatformName )mobileStatsQueryString += “&x_”‘mobile_platforms”=’wpcom_mobile_user_agent_info.matchedPlatformName;if( false !== wpcom_mobile_user_agent_info.matchedUserAgentName )mobileStatsQueryString += “&x_”‘mobile_devices”=’wpcom_mobile_user_agent_info.matchedUserAgentName;if( wpcom_mobile_user_agent_info.isIPad() )mobileStatsQueryString += “&x_”‘ipad_views”=”views’;if( “” != mobileStatsQueryString ) {new Image().src = document.location.protocol’//pixel.wp.com/g.gif?v=wpcom-no-pv’mobileStatsQueryString’&baba=’Math.random();}}