I saw an article today on WFAA.com — a local TV station for the Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas area — that announced something that I very strongly support: “Cheating debate going to Grapevine church.” Now my guess is that the diligent WFAA reporter meant to say “Cheating debate GOING TO OCCUR at Grapevine church” or “The Cheating debate COMES to Grapevine church” (Grapevine is a little town in Texas) but if you read the article you’ll see that the gist of the story is exactly what I personally believe The Church–the body of Christ–needs to do. The pastor at Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Pastor Young, has invited Noel Biderman, to come to the church this Thursday and debate him! “Who’s Noel Biderman?” you ask? Why he’s the guy who runs the website AshleyMadison (and no–I will not link to it) and who has made millions by giving infidelity a platform.
Now don’t get me wrong–I know nothing about Fellowship Church, and I don’t know their denomination or theology at all. But I personally APPLAUD THEM for having the courage to get down in the trenches and say it out loud: adultery is occurring within The Church. A true Believer in Christ might think: “Oh well that will never happen to us, we’re Christians…” and yet it IS! So rather than pretend that infidelity is not happening, and rather than turning a blind eye to the false beliefs that our country has about what Love is, they are facing it–HEAD ON! Let’s shine a light on the misinformation; bring the Truth to the light of day, and stop being ostriches with our heads in the ground.
Biderman says (quoting here): “I think Pastor Young’s view of the world is that adultery is wrong …My view of the world is that it is not that cut and dry. That it’s easy to sit there from a distant and judge someone as being straight or bad or wrong. And the person who was cheated on as a victim. I don’t think it’s that simple.” You know what? Adultery IS wrong because God spoke through the Bible to say that it is wrong–thus it is! What happens though is that one spouse acts harshly, ignores their responsibilities, or ignores their spouse and hurts them deeply…and rather than address THAT ISSUE and THAT SIN, the other spouse then makes a deliberate decision to respond with sin of their own, namely looking outside the marriage to have their needs met. If your spouse does something wrong, that is not license for YOU to commit wrong! A spouse absolutely IS responsible for their love-quenching/marriage-harming choices, and if we REALLY want to save marriages, let’s teach spouses that the way to address a spouse who is bossy, who acts poorly, or who punishes by withholding sex or giving the cold shoulder IS NOT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR!! Let’s shine the light of the truth on all the false assumptions our “society” makes and make it clear and obvious that the myths about adultery DON’T HOLD WATER! Then let us teach couple How To Be Married.