You know how people often ask me, “Can you show me an example of a Consequence/No Contact letter…or a post with a sample Consequence/No Contact letter?” Well…here ya go!
To go into an effect Consequences/No Contact stage, you need to:
1) Do a good Carrot & Stick step first!–for between 3-6 months usually.
2) Find your intermediaries (in this letter, the friends Jane and Paul). I sometimes recommend The Parenting Notebook as an option but intermediaries are much better!
3) Determine in your heart how long you will stay in Consequences/No Contact stage–usually something like 6 months or 1 year. I know many Loyal Spouses who work on Carrot & Stick until 6 month’s after D-Day and then live in peace in No Contact until the 1 year anniversary…then file.
4) Give a copy of this letter to your Disloyal Spouse.
5) Give a copy of this letter to the Other Person with at note at the bottom saying: “I love with all my heart and am willing to do whatever it takes to make him/her happy. I will wait for him/her to give me that chance.”