Monthly Archives: September 2010

>Affaircare On The AIR!!

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Tomorrow Affaircare has a special honor, as our ministry will be the special guest on Handmaiden Live! The show will air tomorrow, Monday Sept. 27th at 11am ET/8am PT on Handmaiden Live! Click to listen, or copy and paste the link below:

And if you want to call in live and speak with the host, be sure to dial (914)803-4651. You will be placed into the caller queue where you will still be able to hear the s how while you are on hold.
Courtnee, the host of Handmaiden Live, is a vibrant Christian woman whose show discusses the taboo truths of the modern Christian as we speak to God’s elected outcasts about the culture here in the USA, the struggles, and the desperate need for transparent, honest, emotional authenticity in our pews. So often Christians and the Church are the ones involved in porn or adultery, and no one will talk about it or even acknowledge it–and if you do, then often you are the one who ends up ostracized or worse! Handmaiden Live is specifically to bring those topics to the LIGHT and show people there is a way to recover.
During the show tomorrow, we will be discussing the transparent truths of keeping your marriage affair free and how you can find hope and rebuild if your marriage has experienced infid elity. As you all know, AffairCare is PRO marriage and dedicated to restoring committed relationships. http://affaircare.com
So tune in tomorrow and catch us live, or if you’re not available at that moment, click on the link and Handmaiden Live will have an archive of the show. We would love to talk to you…LIVE!
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>YourTango Final Word “Experts Agree: Cheating Is Not About Sex”

>[blip.tv http://blip.tv/play/hcp4gf24FAI%5D

YourTango recently asked some of the top love experts to give the final word on the most-asked relationship and dating questions. This episode of “The Final Word,” was so good, we just HAD to share it!  They asked Ian Kerner, Evan Marc Katz, Debra Burrell and Andrea Syrtash why people are unfaithful. Surprisingly, it often has nothing to do with sex. Among the reasons why people cheat? Emotional connection, excitement and—as counterintuitive as it may seem—an attempt to preserve a floundering relationship. Why Do Newlyweds Cheat?
Do you disagree with these love experts? Comment below. Do you have another type of relationship conundrum that needs to be solved? Head on over to Ask YourTango. Are you looking to hire a marriage coach? Check out Affaircare to find a professional who can help you.

>YourTango Final Word "Experts Agree: Cheating Is Not About Sex"

>[blip.tv http://blip.tv/play/hcp4gf24FAI%5D

YourTango recently asked some of the top love experts to give the final word on the most-asked relationship and dating questions. This episode of “The Final Word,” was so good, we just HAD to share it!  They asked Ian Kerner, Evan Marc Katz, Debra Burrell and Andrea Syrtash why people are unfaithful. Surprisingly, it often has nothing to do with sex. Among the reasons why people cheat? Emotional connection, excitement and—as counterintuitive as it may seem—an attempt to preserve a floundering relationship. Why Do Newlyweds Cheat?
Do you disagree with these love experts? Comment below. Do you have another type of relationship conundrum that needs to be solved? Head on over to Ask YourTango. Are you looking to hire a marriage coach? Check out Affaircare to find a professional who can help you.

>Computer Crashes and Marital Health

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Yesterday my computer had a crash.  Like most bloggers and online entrepreneurs, my life is on my computer.  Prior to the crash I had noticed the graphics were acting up, but thought it was a mix of needing to update the drivers and possibly to vacuum some dust around the PC and inside the box.  Apparently I was wrong–and my video card fan was not working and the card was overheating.  Over time, as the fan would slow and the card would overheat…it was gradually corrupting my Windows.  

Until recently I was working with a company that required older versions of Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox, because their software didn’t work with the latest releases.  Usually this is pretty bad for your PC because over time the Firefox or Internet Explorer are no longer supported browsers and things like videos and images no longer run properly.  Still it was for a paycheck, and I added Google Chrome for a cool, updated, personal browser and used old versions of IE and Firefox for work.  The trick though was that there were also certain Windows updates that I couldn’t run or it would make the work software incompatible.  So over time Windows, IE and Firefox were getting older and older and less and less supported…and that’s bad.  I think mixing the old, unsupported Windows with the video card overheating…and my version of XP got to a point where it was corrupted to the point that it would no longer run.  

I woke up like I do every day and was checking my email and starting to respond when my PC shut down (aka, turned off) for no apparent reason.  Hey, I hit the button on the front of the PC now and then–I’m not fool proof!  But I was pretty sure I hadn’t been moving and neither had Dear Hubby, yet it just shut down!  Anyway, I tried to restart it and that’s when it all began.  It wouldn’t boot.  We could get it to boot into Safe Mode but as we tried different diagnostic things, eventually even that stopped and we couldn’t even get it to boot in Safe Mode.  It was clear my Windows was toast and I was going to have to reformat my drive and reinstall Windows.  

What does all this have to do with Marital Health, you wonder, right?  Well I *HATE* having to reformat my drive and reinstalling Windows.  It feels like I’m losing all my data and all my programs, and it completely wastes an entire day!  I could have chosen to play the victim, whine and moan, blame my Dear Hubby somehow, and yell angrily–snarling at everyone who dared to cross my path yesterday.  I actually know people who would have chosen to act exactly like that!  It was very stressful; I was worried; Dear Hubby was worried; and the way I make a living was at stake!  Instead, I made a decision–that is to say a conscious choice–to accept that this was occurring and look at it as an opportunity rather than a torment.  Psalm 118:24 says “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!”  

There was NO PART OF ME that wanted to rejoice and be glad that I had to reformat my drive and reinstall Windows!  But I made a decision to do it anyway, even though I did not “feel like it,” and guess what happened?  Dear Hubby and I had a day that brought us CLOSER rather than driving us apart! 

My Dear Hubby is a graphics professional so he has a PC that is top of the line, large and fast.  He has the latest and greatest of everything!  So we could have copied my entire drive onto his extra “storage” drive if we had to, so I was at least pretty sure I wasn’t going to lose any documents.  Thank God for that!  So right there I thought, “Well I can rejoice over not losing data” and I did.  Then we had a good chance to start my drive over with a nice, new install of Windows, so that was a little something I could rejoice over.  

Most of my clients prefer Windows XP (some work with Windows 7, but none work with Vista), so we chose to reinstall our XP-Pro license and register it and authenticate it and everything…and then run every update!  Oh that took a moment and yet it runs so smooth and clean now!  Then Dear Hubby helped me configure the new install the way I prefer (like getting the right size screen, icons, and fonts).  Oh there was another thing I could rejoice over: Dear Hubby was being AMAZINGLY helpful!  I was somewhat emotional, but he was calm and patient and steady so that really helped…and I did rejoice over that!  

Then the real fun began: downloading programs and games and all the patches.  We knew that would take most of the day, and guess what Dear Hubby did?  He had made plans to make a fancy dinner (homemade clam chowder, which, trust me, is *out of this world* good) but he put aside his own plans to help me with downloads and finding sites or disks so I could reinstall all my programs and games!  Okay I DEFINITELY rejoiced in that!  Also, he helped me remember the programs I used all the time, helped find sites to download (like the Mozilla site), and helped me find the right location for all  the bookmarks he’d saved!

Every day–every event is an opportunity to bring you and your spouse closer, or drive the two of you further apart. Every day you can CHOOSE to be happy or choose to complain and blame others.  Every day, you make the choice to damage your marriage or make it stronger and more healthy.  Reformatting my drive and reinstalling Windows was a dramatic demonstration of the concept that happiness happens, and we can choose to make our marriage healthy!


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>Marriage Health Month

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September is Marriage Health Month and Affaircare is LOVING Healthy Living.  My colleague on that blog writes tips for living a healthier lifestyle, work out tips, stress relief tips, and healthier products.  A recent article in the New York Times entitled “Is Marriage Good for Your Health” by Tara Parker-Pope is a thorough examination of both immunologists and psyschologists studying how marriage effects health, and the overall conclusion time and again is that scientists continue to document the “marriage advantage”: the fact that married people, on average, appear to be healthier and live longer than unmarried people.  


All this month Affaircare is going to be sharing health-care tips to help you develop a strong, healthy, happy, loving marriage.  Our health care tips will also help you keep your marriage affair-free! An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure when it comes to infidelity!  Each week we will focus on one branch of keeping your marriage healthy:  


Week One–Regular Checkups with health care professionals, testing to diagnose the problems and to receive your Daily Happiness Booster Shot 


Week Two— Healthy diet of Love Kindlers, including Daily Romance! 


Week Three–Rest and reduce stress by eliminating the Love Extinguishers–stop hurting each other and stop fighting.!  


Week Four–Exercise!  Push ups (Seven steps to push the affair away), sit ups (How to talk back to disloyal dizziness so they sit up and notice), and aerobics (What do to if they file).


An apple a day keeps the doctor away, and to keep your marriage healthy and strong, we’ll be offering a healthy diet of Daily Romance and a Daily Happiness Booster Shot all month long.