Tag Archives: Save Your Marriage

Who do men and women have affairs with? Why do they have affairs?

An interesting infographic based on a poll, conducted by YouGov on behalf of The Sun:

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Women have their affairs with “friends” (55%) and with work colleagues (32%).

Men have their affairs with work colleagues (45%), “friends” (32%) and strangers (28%)!

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According to the same poll, women have their affairs almost equally becasue they felt flattered by the attention and because they felt emotionally disconnected in their marriage!

Men have their affairs pretty equally for three reasons: flattered by the attention, emotionally disconnected in their marriage, and dissatisfied with their sex life in their marriage.

What can we learn about infidelity from this poll?

Recovering After an Affair: Commitment [Podcast]

You’ve found evidence that proves there is an affair. You’ve done all the steps to end the affair, and now you and your disloyal spouse have made the decision to try to reconcile. WHAT DO YOU DO!!!???

Today we continue the final week of our Basic Concepts series: Recovering After an Affair. In today’s episode we discuss the first thing you truly need to understand to begin recovering–commitment.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPOg-Mj44og&feature=youtu.be]

The verse that Affaircare is built upon is all about commitment: “…Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth…” – Deuteronomy 23:23

We believe that commitment is an intellectual exercise and not a feeling–just like love. It starts with a conscious decision you make. You decide to take a particular course of action over and against some other course of action because you are obligated. For example in the marriage commitment, you make a vow to choose a loving course of action toward your spouse for life.

Now usually you choose to marry someone because they make you happy. You are pursuing happiness and being with him or her makes you happy. The two paths of “happiness” and “being with them” seem to run parallel or are merged into one path! But what happens when the paths diverge and go in different directions?

Troubles occur when the commitment to happiness is prioritized above the commitment to the marriage. This is exactly the thing that often leads couples down the path to infidelity: when one partner is looking and looking for “what makes them happy” and their marriage is in a rut so it doesn’t “make them feel happy.” They allow their emotions to guide their decisions… “it FEELS good so I’m doing this…” rather than choosing to create happiness in their marriage or choosing to look for the happy things they do have within their marriage.

Our new program, “90 Days to Save Your Marriage and Save You” will teach you and how your spouse how to recover after infidelity. We will be focusing on Commitment and discussing what TRUE commitment is (we have it almost exactly backward), how to get the two paths of commitment to marriage and happiness to come back together again, and how to make PRO-active choices rather than RE-active decisions. To introduce our new program, we are reviewing our Basic Concepts all month!  Request more info about our new program HERE!!

[audio: https://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/Commitment.mp3]

Recovering After an Affair: Pre-Reconcilliation [Podcast]

You’ve found evidence that proves there is an affair. You’ve done all the steps to end the affair, and now you and your disloyal spouse have made the decision to try to reconcile.  WHAT DO YOU DO!!!???

Today we begin the final week of our Basic Concepts series: Recovering After an Affair.  There are specific steps you can take to slowly, one-step upon the previous, build a whole new, healthy marriage.  There is no guarantee your marriage will recover, but these steps will give you the best opportunity to recover after the affair ends.

In today’s episode we discuss the things that need to be in place BEFORE you can even begin reconciling:

1) No Contact with the Affair Partner
2) Transparent Honesty
3) Agreement by BOTH spouses to work on yourself and the marriage.

Use the Sample No-Contact Letters that you can find here: http://affaircare.com/articles/sample-consequences-letters/

Our new program, “90 Days to Save Your Marriage and Save You” will teach you and how your spouse how to recover after infidelity. To introduce our new program, I’m reviewing our Basic Concepts all month!

 

[audio: https://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/PreReconcilliation.mp3]