Tag Archives: Christianity

Biblical Precepts on Adultery: The New Testament [Podcast]

bible-and-rings

My spouse is cheating, and I’m a Christian, but I’m so upset I don’t know what God wants me to do! I’m the spouse who cheated and I am a Christian, but I ended the affair and confessed to God–do I have to tell my spouse?

In this week’s episode, we continue our new our series “Biblical Precepts on Adultery” as we begin a summer study of what the Bible has to say about infidelity and how God would have us act. Today we discuss three topics we can glean from the NEW Testament about adultery: 1) God is concerned not only with the outer man, but also with our hearts and minds…our INNER man , 2) The one moral exception clause for divorce: infidelity, and 3) Those who commit adultery do not inherit the kingdom of God and will be judged by God.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0rlORIlBfY&feature=youtu.be]

 

Every “adultery” verse in the New Testament:

Matthew 5:27 NIRV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.'(Exodus 20:14)

Matthew 5:28 NIRV

28 But here is what I tell you. Do not even look at a woman in the wrong way. Anyone who does has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:32 NIRV

32 But here is what I tell you. Anyone who divorces his wife causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who gets married to the divorced woman commits adultery. A man may divorce his wife only if she has not been faithful to him.

Matthew 15:19 NIRV

19 Evil thoughts come out of the heart. So do murder, adultery, and other sexual sins. And so do stealing, false witness, and telling lies about others.

Matthew 19:9 NIRV

9 Here is what I tell you. Anyone who divorces his wife and gets married to another woman commits adultery. A man may divorce his wife only if she has not been faithful to him.”

Matthew 19:18 NIRV

18 “Which ones?” the man asked. Jesus said, ” ‘Do not commit murder. Do not commit adultery. Do not steal. Do not give false witness.

Mark 7:21 NIRV

21 Evil thoughts come from the inside, from people’s hearts. So do sexual sins, stealing and murder. Adultery,

Mark 10:11 NIRV

11 He answered, “What if a man divorces his wife and gets married to another woman? He commits adultery against her.

Mark 10:12 NIRV

12 And what if she divorces her husband and gets married to another man? She commits adultery.”

Mark 10:19 NIRV

19 You know what the commandments say. ‘Do not commit murder. Do not commit adultery. Do not steal. Do not give false witness. Do not cheat. Honor your father and mother.’ “(Exodus 20:12-16; Deuteronomy 5:16-20)

Luke 16:18 NIRV

18 “Anyone who divorces his wife and gets married to another woman commits adultery. Also, the man who gets married to a divorced woman commits adultery.

Luke 18:11 NIRV

11 “The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself. ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people,’ he said. ‘I am not like robbers or those who do other evil things. I am not like those who commit adultery. I am not even like this tax collector.

Luke 18:20 NIRV

20 You know what the commandments say. ‘Do not commit adultery. Do not commit murder. Do not steal. Do not give false witness. Honor your father and mother.’ “(Exodus 20:12-16; Deuteronomy 5:16-20)

John 8:3 NIRV

3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman. She had been caught in adultery. They made her stand in front of the group.

Romans 2:22 NIRV

22 You say that people should not commit adultery. But you commit adultery! You hate statues of gods. But you rob temples!

Romans 7:3 NIRV

3 But suppose that married woman gets married again while her husband is still alive. Then she is called a woman who commits adultery. But suppose her husband dies. Then she is free from that law. She is not guilty of adultery even if she marries another man.

Romans 13:9 NIRV

9 Here are some commandments to think about. “Do not commit adultery.” “Do not commit murder.” “Do not steal.” “Do not want what belongs to others.”(Exodus 20:13-15,17; Deuteronomy 5:17-19,21) These and other commandments are all included in one rule. Here’s what it is. “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”(Leviticus 19:18)

1 Corinthians 6:9 NIRV

9 Don’t you know that evil people will not receive God’s kingdom? Don’t be fooled. Those who commit sexual sins will not receive the kingdom. Neither will those who worship statues of gods or commit adultery. Neither will men who are prostitutes or who commit homosexual acts.

1 Timothy 1:10 NIRV

10 It is for those who commit adultery. It is for those who have a twisted view of sex. It is for people who buy and sell slaves. It is for liars. It is for those who give witness to things that aren’t true. And it is for anything else that is the opposite of true teaching.

Hebrews 13:4 NIRV

4 All of you should honor marriage. You should keep the marriage bed pure. God will judge the person who commits adultery. He will judge everyone who commits sexual sins.

James 2:11 NIRV

11 God said, “Do not commit adultery.”(Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18) He also said, “Do not commit murder.”(Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17) Suppose you don’t commit adultery but do commit murder. Then you have broken the Law.

Revelation 2:22 NIRV

22 She sinned on a bed. So I will make her suffer on a bed. And those who commit adultery with her will suffer greatly. Their only way out is to turn away from what she taught them to do.

 

The “Biblical Precepts” series:

  1.  Introduction
  2.  Old Testament precepts about adultery
  3. Today: New Testament precepts about adultery
  4. Notable adultery in the Bible and what we can learn
[audio: https://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/2016/NT+Precepts.mp3]

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Biblical Precepts on Adultery: The Old Testament [Podcast]

bible-and-rings

My spouse is cheating, and I’m a Christian, but I’m so upset I don’t know what God wants me to do! I’m the spouse who cheated and I am a Christian, but I ended the affair and confessed to God–do I have to tell my spouse?

In this week’s episode, we continue our new our series “Biblical Precepts on Adultery” as we begin a summer study of what the Bible has to say about infidelity and how God would have us act. Today we discuss three topics we can glean from the Old Testament about adultery: 1) God condemns adultery, 2) the lure of adultery, and 3) the entire process of recovering from adultery.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c2BM2vaQeg&feature=youtu.be]

 

Every “adultery” verse in the Old Testament:

Exodus 20:14

14 “Do not commit adultery.

Leviticus 20:10

10 ” ‘Suppose a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife. Then the man and the woman must be put to death.

Deuteronomy 5:18

18 “Do not commit adultery.

Job 24:15

15 Those who commit adultery wait until the sun goes down. They think, ‘No one will see us.’ They keep their faces hidden.

Psalm 50:18

18 When you see a thief, you join him. You make friends with those who commit adultery.

Proverbs 2:16

16 Wisdom will save you from a woman who commits adultery. It will save you from a sinful wife and her tempting words.

Proverbs 5:3

3 A woman who commits adultery has lips that drip honey. What she says is smoother than oil.

Proverbs 5:20

20 My son, why be captured by a woman who commits adultery? Why hug the wife of another man?

Proverbs 6:24

24 It keeps you from a sinful woman. It keeps you from the smooth tongue of a woman who commits adultery.

Proverbs 6:32

32 A man who commits adultery has no sense. Anyone who does it destroys himself.

Proverbs 7:5

5 They will keep you from a woman who commits adultery. They will keep you from the smooth talk of a sinful wife.

Proverbs 20:16

16 Take the coat of one who puts up money for what a stranger owes. Hold it until you get paid back if he does it for a woman who commits adultery.

Proverbs 22:14

14 The mouth of a woman who commits adultery is like a deep pit. Any man the LORD is angry with will fall into it.

Proverbs 23:27

27 A prostitute is like a deep pit. A wife who commits adultery is like a narrow well.

Proverbs 27:13

13 Take the coat of one who puts up money for what a stranger owes. Hold it until you get paid back if he does it for a woman who commits adultery.

Proverbs 30:20

20 “This is the way of a woman who commits adultery. She eats. She wipes her mouth. Then she says, ‘I haven’t done anything wrong.’

Isaiah 57:3

3 The LORD says, “Come here, you children of women who practice evil magic! You are children of prostitutes and those who commit adultery.

Jeremiah 3:2

2 “Look up at the bare hilltops. Is there any place where you have not committed adultery with other gods? By the side of the road you sat waiting for lovers. You sat there like someone who wanders in the desert. You have polluted the land. You are like a sinful prostitute.

Jeremiah 3:6

6 During the time Josiah was king, the LORD spoke to me. He said, “Have you seen what the people of Israel have done? They have not been faithful to me. They have committed adultery with other gods. They worshiped them on every high hill and under every green tree.

Jeremiah 3:8

8 “I gave Israel their letter of divorce. I sent them away because they were unfaithful to me so many times. But I saw that their sister nation Judah did not have any respect for me. They were not faithful to me either. They also went out and committed adultery with other gods.

Jeremiah 3:13

13 Admit that you are guilty of doing what is wrong. You have refused to obey me. I am the LORD your God. You have committed adultery with other gods. You worshiped them under every green tree. And you have not obeyed me,’ ” announces the Lord.

Jeremiah 5:7

7 The LORD says, “Jerusalem, why should I forgive you? Your people have deserted me. They have taken their oaths in the names of gods that are not really gods at all. I supplied everything they needed. But they committed adultery. Large crowds went to the houses of prostitutes.

Jeremiah 7:9 

9 You continue to steal and commit murder. You commit adultery and tell lies. You burn incense to Baal. You worship other gods you have not known anything about before.

Jeremiah 9:2

2 I wish I had somewhere to go in the desert where a traveler could stay! Then I could leave my people. I could get away from them. All of them commit adultery by worshiping other gods. They aren’t faithful to the Lord.

Jeremiah 13:27

27 They will see that you have not been faithful to me. You have committed adultery with other gods. And you have acted like a prostitute who does not have any shame. I have seen what you did on the hills and in the fields. And I hate it. How terrible it will be for you, Jerusalem! How long will you choose to be ‘unclean’?”

Jeremiah 29:23

23 “That will happen because they have done awful things in Israel. They have committed adultery with their neighbors’ wives. They have spoken lies in my name. I did not tell them to do that. I know what they have done. And I am a witness to it,” announces the Lord.

Ezekiel 16:38

38 I will hand down my sentence against you. You will be punished like women who commit adultery and sacrifice their children to other gods. My anger burns against you so much that I will sentence you to death for everything you have done.

Ezekiel 23:37

37 They have committed adultery. Their hands are covered with the blood of the people they have murdered. They have worshiped other gods. They have not been faithful to me. They have even sacrificed their children as food to other gods. Those children belonged to me.

Ezekiel 23:43

43 “Then I spoke about Oholibah. She was worn out by adultery. I said, ‘Let them use her as a prostitute. After all, that is what she is.’

Ezekiel 23:45

45 “But men who are right with God will sentence the sisters to be punished. They will be punished in the same way as women who commit adultery and murder. After all, they have committed adultery. And their hands are covered with the blood of the people they have murdered.”

Hosea 1:2

2 The LORD began to speak through me. He said to me, “Go. Get married to a woman who will commit adultery. Take as your own the children who will be born as a result of her adultery. Marry her because the people of the land are guilty of the worst kind of adultery. They have not been faithful to me.”

Hosea 3:1

1 The LORD said to me, “Go. Show your love to your wife again. She is loved by another man. And she has committed adultery. But I want you to love her just as I love the people of Israel. They turn to other gods. And they love to offer raisin cakes to Baal and eat them. In spite of that, I love my people.”

Hosea 4:2

2 People call down curses on others. They tell lies and commit murder. They steal and commit adultery. They break all of my laws. They keep on spilling the blood of others.

Hosea 4:13

13 They offer sacrifices on the mountaintops. They burn offerings on the hills. They worship under oak, poplar and terebinth trees. The trees provide plenty of shade. So your daughters become prostitutes. And your daughters-in-law commit adultery.

Hosea 4:14

14 “I will not punish your daughters when they become prostitutes. I will not judge your daughters-in-law when they commit adultery. After all, the men themselves have sex with sinful women. They offer sacrifices where temple prostitutes earn their living. People who can’t understand will be destroyed!

Malachi 3:5 

5 “So I will come and judge you. I will be quick to bring charges against all of you,” says the LORD who rules over all. “I will bring charges against you sinful people who do not have any respect for me. That includes those who practice evil magic. It includes those who commit adultery and those who tell lies in court. It includes those who cheat workers out of their pay. It includes those who crush widows. It also includes those who mistreat children whose fathers have died. And it includes those who take away the rights of outsiders in the courts.

 

The “Biblical Precepts” series:

  1. Last Week: Introduction
  2. Today:  Old Testament precepts about adultery
  3. July 12th: New Testament precepts about adultery
  4. July 19th: Notable adultery in the Bible and what we can learn
  5. July 26th: Q&A – Typical Questions/Biblical Answers!
[audio: https://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/2016/Adultery+Old+Testament+Precepts.mp3]

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Is Abuse Grounds for Divorce? [Podcast]

ABUSE: “An ongoing pattern of behavior designed to control, manipulate and subjugate another that usually occurs behind closed doors.”

The word abuse has taken many meanings over time, and now is used to describe the mistreatment or misuse of virtually anything. People having an affair use “abuse” as a justification for their choices; people who’s spouse had an affair use “abuse” as a reason for their anger.

So in this week’s episode, we discuss what abuse is, what the Bible has to say about abuse, how we (Christians) are supposed to address it, types of abuse, and whether or not abuse an acceptable reason for divorce.

[youtube  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiYqlDE_600&feature=youtu.be]

1. What does the Bible say?

Let’s be clear. Scripture reveals that the marriage relationship is to reflect Christ’s relationship with his church—one of sacrificial love. A wife is called to respond to her husband’s biblical headship, not to his destructive and sinful behavior, just as the wife’s mandate is to respect her husband.

The Bible condemns violence and violent men

The word “man” here does not mean husbands only or even males necessarily, but HUMANS. A wife can also be abusive!

Many passages in the Bible speak out on the issue of violence, and GOD’s attitude toward those that repeatedly use violence:

Psalms 11:5 The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth.

Zephaniah 1:9 In the same day also will I punish all those that leap on the threshold, which fill their masters’ houses with violence and deceit.

Psalms 37:9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

Malachi 2:16-17 “I hate […] a man’s covering his wife with violence, as well as with his garment.” says the Lord Almighty….”You have wearied the Lord with your words.” “How have we wearied him?” you ask. By saying “all who do evil are good in the eyes of the Lord, and he is pleased with them,” or “Where is the God of justice?”. (NIV)

Scripture also shows us that the very words we speak can be considered as a form of violence:

Proverbs 10:6 Blessings are upon the head of the just: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.

Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.

Matthew 5:21,22 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:
But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire

As followers of Christ we are encouraged to consider everything we say to one another, whether it stands the test of being for the benefit of the hearer – verbal abuse surely does not qualify:

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.

James 3:10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

2. How are we (Christians) supposed to address abuse?

Firstly, the Church – and each individual follower of Christ – has a responsibility to offer comfort and help to those who are oppressed (by their partner), needy (of reassurance and protection), weak (due to the constant onslaught of abuse) and in distress. Galatians 6:2; Hebrews 12:12; Hebrews 13:3; Isaiah 1:17; Proverbs 31:9; Jeremiah 22:3; Genesis 42:21; Isaiah 35:3,4

Secondly, the Church also has a responsibility to hold the abuser accountable, to admonish him, to judge (that is, to investigate and discern right from wrong) and to encourage the abuser to change his/her ways: Romans 15:14; James 5:19,20; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:14; 1 Corinthians 6:1-3

Thirdly, the manner in which the abuser is to be admonished (i.e. the spirit in which to approach him/her) is also spelled out for us Not one of us is perfect – our aim is not to condemn the person – whom Christ has called – but to condemn the actions, and try to encourage recognition of the sin, repentance and a change in ways: 2 Thessalonians 3:15; Galatians 6:1; Luke 15:7
3. What are the different Types of Abuse?

Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Emotional/Mental Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Financial Abuse

Types of abuse:  http://affaircare.com/types-of-abuse/

Signs of abuse:  http://affaircare.com/articles/signs-of-verbal-and-emotional-abuse/

4. Sooo…is abuse an acceptable reason for divorce?

The Bible gives two acceptable reasons for divorce: the first is abandonment of a Christian by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15), and the second is adultery (Matthew 5:32). Although God allows divorce in these circumstances, He does not command it. It is far better, in the case of infidelity, for two Bible-believing Christians to reconcile, extending the forgiveness and love that God freely gives us. However, in abusive situations, the circumstances are far different. While reconciliation with an abusive partner would be wonderful, it depends completely on the abuser proving his or her reliability, which could take years—if it happens at all—never on the abused party.

So abuse is not adultery. But if you initiate separation for saftey and then go through the steps of Matthew 18 to admonish a sinning brother or sister, and they refuse to repent, then Matthew 18 tells us they are considered a non-believer. And if they refuse to stop abusing, they have already abandoned the marriage.

[audio: https://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/Is+Abuse+Grounds+for+Divorce.mp3]