FAQs

FAQ Lighthouse

FAQ1: Why should I do Telephone Coaching? Won’t I need marriage counseling in a counselor’s office to save my marriage?

 
There are several amazing benefits of telephone coaching over in-office therapy.  The foremost benefit is that you can coach with an INFIDELITY EXPERT who is not in your area!  Small towns and rural areas do not have counselors specially trained in recovering after an affair.  Even in some of the “big cities” It is hard to find someone trained specifically for saving marriages after an affair!  Telephone coaching brings the expert TO YOU.
 

Telephone coaching, can be done in the privacy of your own home.  You choose the time and date. You can be in your P.J.’s at home, in a dress or three piece suit at work, or you can call from your cell phone when you’re traveling. It’s entirely up to you. In fact, we’ve discovered that we can help people by telephone that we could never have reached in person. 

FAQ2: What’s so special about an Affaircare Coach?

 
Affaircare coaches are PRO-MARRIAGE!!!  We get contacted by people every day with stories that would amaze you. People call who have struggling with the affair on their own for months.  Or people email who have been in “counseling” for years…and they’re making NO progress!  We’ve received comment from people who are worse off than they were when they started!  We hear horror stories about therapists, pastors, and marriage counselors who have pronounced a marriage “dead on arrival” after just one session.  Friends and relatives often encourage the loyal spouse to just “move on” and find someone better. You might feel as if you’re the only one in the world who believes your marriage is worth saving, but now, you’re not alone. We believe marriage is a life-long covenant that is sanctified in the eyes of God.  Affaircare also believes that most divorces in our country are unnecessary. We see people and marriages change all the time. Yours can too–we know!

FAQ3: How do Affaircare coaches make marriages happy and loving again?

 
You aren’t born knowing how to have great relationships; you have to learn how. We’re convinced that most divorces happen because people are naturally sinful and are not taught God’s view of marriage, the definition of love according to the Bible, or the skills to find their way out of trying and frustrating marital problems. Affaircare coaches are experienced nouthetic counselors who can teach you the Biblical Principles you need to make your marriage honoring to God.  Along the way, we can also help with tools to improve communication and break free from hurtful relationship ruts. 
 

FAQ4: Is coaching confidential? Do coaches have ethics and guidelines?

Your call to an Affaircare coach will not be kept a secret from your spouse, and we will not lie for you. Confidentiality is respected where possible, information is safeguarded, and the best interest and well being of the counselee is preserved.  Just like counselors and therapists, coaches have standards of conduct and guidelines. Rest assured, Affaircare has implemented a variety of security measures to maintain the safety and privacy of your personal information.  Here is our privacy policy.

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3 thoughts on “FAQs”

    1. Hi Dan! Thanks for your question. Before we go any further, I would answer your question by clarifying that a marriage is not a relationship. A marriage is when two people make a lifelong, covenant commitment before God and family and friends. A marriage in the USA also has a legal component to it, but I personally limit that portion of the definition to some means of legally enforcing or recognizing the commitment. A relationship could be going out together, dating, dating exclusively, living together before marriage, engaged or any number of ways that people “get together” that does not meet the standard of a lifelong, covenant commitment with some sort of legal recognition.

      So with that clear, I think what you’re wondering is something like “Well if I’m in a relationship with someone (my significant other), is it okay to have a friendship with someone else (some other girl, for example)?” Here’s where my definition of marriage comes into play; because I believe until you are married…you are single. And if you’re single you are free to have a friendship with whoever you want! What happens is that if you’re just going out or dating, that expectation for loyalty is not as great–if you are dating exclusively the expectation of loyalty raises–if you are living together it raises even more. Thus, if you are exclusive, living with or engaged to someone, and you have indicated to that person that they are the only one you love, the one for you, etc. …then it is reasonable to think they would feel betrayed if you began to have a closer relationship with someone else.

      Now having said all that, here’s 5 quick little differences between a friendship and a relationship:
      1. Meeting the other person
      Friendship: Sure it’s cool if your spouse meets friend at work or in your class. You’re just doing an assigned project with them.
      Relationship: NO WAY! The person at work or in your class doesn’t even know you’re married. You’re sort of keeping this other person a secret.

      2. Communications with the other person
      Friendship: Not only is it okay if your spouse sees the friend’s emails or FB chats or texts, but you SHOW THEM to your spouse, forward it to your spouse, include your spouse. “Hey sweetie, look what they said LOL!” and you hand over your cellphone.
      Relationship: Your spouse can see you texting, chatting or emailing away, but you keep your phone passworded and your PC locked so they can not see what you and the other person have said. If your spouse happened to read it, you’d get defensive and/or accuse them of invading your privacy.

      3. Mention the other person’s name
      Friendship: You or your spouse say the friend’s name and there is no change of facial expression or tone of voice. It’s like discussing the rug–all facts and then on to the next topic.
      Relationship: You say the other person’s name and your whole face lights up…or your voice changes and gets that happy lilt to it.

      4. The other person needs you
      Friendship: Your friend may has some personal trouble and they talk to you about it. You give your friend advice and then your friend goes to seek help from someone with whom they have an emotional tie (like a parent or sibling or their own spouse). You point your friend to their own spouse.
      Relationship: The other person has some personal trouble and they talk to you about it, and they turn to a person with whom they have an emotional tie for help: you. The other person acts like you are the only one who is able to help her through it.

      5. Laughing and Touching
      Friendship: Oh friends laugh and kid around together, but if they do touch, the touching in minimal and more like a slap on the shoulder or ruffling hair.
      Relationship: You and the other person have personal inside jokes and you two laugh with each other and at times, touch each other fairly softly…or accidentally arrange to brush up against one another. In order to have private jokes, it’s clear you’ve spent a lot of together to establish that close of a connection.

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