Category Archives: Fidelity

Biblical Precepts on Adultery: The New Testament [Podcast]

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My spouse is cheating, and I’m a Christian, but I’m so upset I don’t know what God wants me to do! I’m the spouse who cheated and I am a Christian, but I ended the affair and confessed to God–do I have to tell my spouse?

In this week’s episode, we continue our new our series “Biblical Precepts on Adultery” as we begin a summer study of what the Bible has to say about infidelity and how God would have us act. Today we discuss three topics we can glean from the NEW Testament about adultery: 1) God is concerned not only with the outer man, but also with our hearts and minds…our INNER man , 2) The one moral exception clause for divorce: infidelity, and 3) Those who commit adultery do not inherit the kingdom of God and will be judged by God.

 

Every “adultery” verse in the New Testament:

Matthew 5:27 NIRV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.'(Exodus 20:14)

Matthew 5:28 NIRV

28 But here is what I tell you. Do not even look at a woman in the wrong way. Anyone who does has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:32 NIRV

32 But here is what I tell you. Anyone who divorces his wife causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who gets married to the divorced woman commits adultery. A man may divorce his wife only if she has not been faithful to him.

Matthew 15:19 NIRV

19 Evil thoughts come out of the heart. So do murder, adultery, and other sexual sins. And so do stealing, false witness, and telling lies about others.

Matthew 19:9 NIRV

9 Here is what I tell you. Anyone who divorces his wife and gets married to another woman commits adultery. A man may divorce his wife only if she has not been faithful to him.”

Matthew 19:18 NIRV

18 “Which ones?” the man asked. Jesus said, ” ‘Do not commit murder. Do not commit adultery. Do not steal. Do not give false witness.

Mark 7:21 NIRV

21 Evil thoughts come from the inside, from people’s hearts. So do sexual sins, stealing and murder. Adultery,

Mark 10:11 NIRV

11 He answered, “What if a man divorces his wife and gets married to another woman? He commits adultery against her.

Mark 10:12 NIRV

12 And what if she divorces her husband and gets married to another man? She commits adultery.”

Mark 10:19 NIRV

19 You know what the commandments say. ‘Do not commit murder. Do not commit adultery. Do not steal. Do not give false witness. Do not cheat. Honor your father and mother.’ “(Exodus 20:12-16; Deuteronomy 5:16-20)

Luke 16:18 NIRV

18 “Anyone who divorces his wife and gets married to another woman commits adultery. Also, the man who gets married to a divorced woman commits adultery.

Luke 18:11 NIRV

11 “The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself. ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people,’ he said. ‘I am not like robbers or those who do other evil things. I am not like those who commit adultery. I am not even like this tax collector.

Luke 18:20 NIRV

20 You know what the commandments say. ‘Do not commit adultery. Do not commit murder. Do not steal. Do not give false witness. Honor your father and mother.’ “(Exodus 20:12-16; Deuteronomy 5:16-20)

John 8:3 NIRV

3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman. She had been caught in adultery. They made her stand in front of the group.

Romans 2:22 NIRV

22 You say that people should not commit adultery. But you commit adultery! You hate statues of gods. But you rob temples!

Romans 7:3 NIRV

3 But suppose that married woman gets married again while her husband is still alive. Then she is called a woman who commits adultery. But suppose her husband dies. Then she is free from that law. She is not guilty of adultery even if she marries another man.

Romans 13:9 NIRV

9 Here are some commandments to think about. “Do not commit adultery.” “Do not commit murder.” “Do not steal.” “Do not want what belongs to others.”(Exodus 20:13-15,17; Deuteronomy 5:17-19,21) These and other commandments are all included in one rule. Here’s what it is. “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”(Leviticus 19:18)

1 Corinthians 6:9 NIRV

9 Don’t you know that evil people will not receive God’s kingdom? Don’t be fooled. Those who commit sexual sins will not receive the kingdom. Neither will those who worship statues of gods or commit adultery. Neither will men who are prostitutes or who commit homosexual acts.

1 Timothy 1:10 NIRV

10 It is for those who commit adultery. It is for those who have a twisted view of sex. It is for people who buy and sell slaves. It is for liars. It is for those who give witness to things that aren’t true. And it is for anything else that is the opposite of true teaching.

Hebrews 13:4 NIRV

4 All of you should honor marriage. You should keep the marriage bed pure. God will judge the person who commits adultery. He will judge everyone who commits sexual sins.

James 2:11 NIRV

11 God said, “Do not commit adultery.”(Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18) He also said, “Do not commit murder.”(Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17) Suppose you don’t commit adultery but do commit murder. Then you have broken the Law.

Revelation 2:22 NIRV

22 She sinned on a bed. So I will make her suffer on a bed. And those who commit adultery with her will suffer greatly. Their only way out is to turn away from what she taught them to do.

 

The “Biblical Precepts” series:

  1.  Introduction
  2.  Old Testament precepts about adultery
  3. Today: New Testament precepts about adultery
  4. Notable adultery in the Bible and what we can learn
[audio: https://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/2016/NT+Precepts.mp3]

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Top 10 Acts of Service to Make Your Partner Feel Loved

Recently, David and I have discovered a great little site: Twoofus.org.

Since one of our Reconciliation Tools is The Five Love Languages (as seen on our Quizzes page), we found this little article about the love language “Acts of Service” and thought it was so good, that we’d just repost the whole thing!  The original of this article can be found here: http://www.twoofus.org/educational-content/articles/top-10-acts-of-service-to-make-your-partner-feel-loved-/index.aspx  (Warning: it loads REALLY slowly)


 

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In Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages, he explains that people express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Chapman identifies these the five languages of love as: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

For people who have “acts of service” as their primary love language, helpful acts are seen as very powerful expressions of love and devotion. Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, mowing the grass, etc. are all acts of service. If done with a positive spirit and without expecting something in return, they are indeed expressions of love.

Within every language, there are many dialects. If you have a significant other with acts of service as his/her primary love language, find out the specific things he/she would like by asking. If you are the person with that specific love language, let your spouse know which actions mean the most to you.

We asked people what acts(s) of service they think are most valued by a spouse are here are some of the responses:

  1. During the cold months, put a towel in the dryer while your spouse is showering so it’s all fluffy and warm when he/she gets out.
  2. Clean the kitchen or bathroom
  3. Men: Be a gentleman and walk on the “dangerous” side of the road so she feels protected.
  4. Fix things that the other can’t fix.
  5. Buy or make him/her lunch and bring it to him/her at work, even if (especially if) it’s out of your way.
  6. Cook a special meal that you know he/she likes.
  7. Fill up your gas tank without being asked.
  8. Drop your spouse at the door when it is raining.
  9. Men: Open car doors for your wife.
  10. Go to the grocery store and buy items you know he/she loves—without being asked

Love Kindler #2 Spiritual Commitment [Podcast]

Are you trying to reconcile your marriage after an affair? Are you committed to your spouse’s spiritual well-being?


Our new program, “90 Days to Save Your Marriage and Save You” will teach you and how your spouse how to recover after infidelity, and to help introduce our new program, I’m reviewing our Basic Concepts.  This week we are talking about the Love Kindlers, and this video is all about Love Kindler #2 Spiritual Commitment, the gospel, and what it means to create an environment where your spouse can grow spiritually.

~Cindy

 

[audio: http://s3.amazonaws.com/affaircare-podcast/Spiritual-Commitment.mp4]