Fathers…

Fathers Day

I’m reposting a blog I wrote for Father’s Day way back in June 2010!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

God has a lot to say about the fathers in our lives.  Before I go any further, let me share a few verses about fathers and children:

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  • “For the LORD detests a perverse man but takes the upright into his confidence.” (Proverbs 3:32)
  • “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22)
  • “Honesty lives confident and carefree, but Shifty is sure to be exposed.” (Proverbs 10:9 MSG)
  • “A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth.” (Proverbs 17:24)
  • “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)
  • “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.” (Psalm 103:13)
  • “Don’t fail to correct your children. You won’t kill them by being firm, and it may even save their lives.”(Proverbs 23:13-14 CEV)
  • “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 ESV)
  • “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” (Proverbs 17:27)
  • “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:11-12)

This day and age, the role of men in families is being undermined. With access to fairly easy divorce, for no declared reason other than “we aren’t happy” children today often have men that come and go in their lives. Men often think they don’t have just as much right to custody of their own children. But children very much NEED fathers in their lives!

A father may be the male person whose DNA you carry–your biological progenitor.  A father may be a man who stepped up and raised you when your real father left your mom.  A father may be a pastor or clergyman who ministered in your life.  A father may be the guy who hung out with you and taught you what being a man REALLY was.  Fathers can be anyone from the humble bread-truck driver to a busy executive CEO–but they are the guy who guides you, teaches you, never gives up on you, and shows compassion while spending time.  Today we honor our FATHERS.  So thank the man in your life who was your mentor, adviser and model.  Let him know that he meant something to you.

Happy Father’s Day!

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One thought on “Fathers…”

  1. Thank you for this lovely reminder of our Heavenly Father’s intent for us to have a our earthly father.

    How little we may realize the depth of departure our present day culture calls upon us to identify fatherhood….as it is with most of what GOD has set within reach of those who willing to read and take to heart his word.

    Fatherhood arises out of fatherhood….thus many are adrift in today’s culture who may desire to be good fathers but are lacking the knowledge and understanding of what it takes to really make the kind of impact upon their children that will equip them with experiencing a father’s life and love.

    Apart from this experience I grew up not knowing how to identify love in a man …or to be able to tell a man’s words from his character….I learned eventually through painful lessons before and during marriage to a man who was at first enthusiastic about following the Lord and marriage to me.

    Soon after as responsibilities began to appear he lost interest and though continued in our marriage in facade….he removed himself from the identity of husband and barely involved himself in fatherhood. His greatest love was his own appetite for fun, sex and people who did not want anything to do with GOD .

    The tactic he used was not violence or outward abuse but simply setting me and our family aside from his own life of pleasure seeking and power brokering.

    I would often learn about his thoughts and plans while at a rare party of his co workers which I was allowed to attend. It hurt to find out things this way but my husband kept all of his important decisions from me until after the fact …

    I may sound bitter but I am not really I know that is destructive …I do acknowledge the pain of seeing how his ongoing aloofness hurts our daughters who though adults still live with us as they await the provision of the Lord for their own husbands and future .

    My husband has not owned that a man leads and teaches his family even if he does not want to …As he told me many times “I do not want to be the head ….I do not want to be the leader of my family’!

    He lead them and taught them even as he did not think so!

    My son learned that a man once grown could be successful and have fun apart from being home with his family and that the Bible and time spent in it was for ‘women and children’ because my husband showed NO interest in any of this while ours were young. HE would go out the door to golf or his adulteress …unknown to us at the time ..with nary a glance back or apology .

    This hardness of heart and darkened mind still is in evidence …I have to await the way the Lord may awaken him and time is going by

    I tried to get him to realize that his sorrow over the losses in his life due to his adultery are past and he is NOW able to redeem the time with me and the children here while they are still home…but he has not made any changes …accept to cut off the adulteress in all ways but the money we send.

    He still places all things before any time with me

    I have not had a date or a vacation for YEARS …but I have not complained because I thought it was necessary for our home-life to ‘wait’

    He has had a lot of entertainment and fun at the expense of all of us and now he still does not think he has any reason to change his ways .

    HE now uses the excuse that he cannot change the past and he ‘can’t’ make any difference in anything now.

    I am still set aside and when he takes our daughters somewhere and they ask me if I am going along or ask him is I can go along he says NO.

    So they are being hurt as well and his only comment is ‘they SHOULDN’T” be hurt by this ‘ …so he still does not seem to care what a father ‘s impact is .It’s like running over someone with a car and then saying they shouldn’t have been on the sidewalk where you wanted to drive!!!

    He does seem to realize that the children of adultery need him to be there for him ..but once again his schedule is in sharp contrast to how much time he made for me and our children during his workday …but NOW he is out of the office for their sake daily…THIS hurts our own children as they know that in the past he was always ‘too busy ‘ at the office…even cutting family vacations short to go back ‘to the office’ …but we now know he spent half of each vacation allowance on the OW ….

    I do not bring this up to be a party pooper but indeed if ANY man took up the ‘fathering ‘ in truth with you or your family …take time to say thank you since the truth of what a father is is VERY important and can impact many generations going forward.

    Too many have grown up with distorted ideas of what this privilege is ..too many are taught about it by humanists …sadly

    May THIS Father’s Day find men who are willing to seek out more and more the truth about what their role is in the life of their priviledges called ‘children’ and ‘wife’ and all that awaits them in the fruitful rewards of being willing to do so.

    Happy Father’s Day guys who do love their wives ….it will do a long way to help your children learn how to live in marriage !

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