Memorial Day is a day when we remember those who were killed in action while serving in the military and are reminded that “The patriot’s blood is the seed of Freedom’s tree.” ~Thomas Campbell. Since our site, Affaircare, specializes in infidelity—today we will take a break from our blogseries on Love Extinguishers to examine infidelity in military marriages during deployment.
First, let’s just be clear. Not all soldiers who are deployed are unfaithful; many love their spouses and would never cheat! Likewise many military spouses who stay home and live on base would never cheat on their soldier–so infidelity is not an assumption. Still, in the comments following one article I read by an NBC war correspondent, the veterans and present military personnel state that their consensus of being unfaithful to significant others would be around 85% as an average!
So why do deployed military personnel and officers cheat? Why are their spouses, at home duty station, unfaithful? The reasons for military affairs are very similar to civilian affairs—being thousands of miles away from their loved one, the Love Kindlers diminish and the Love Extinguishers increase. The one difference of note is that the order of the top reason is slightly different for the military due to the adrenalin/risk of being in battle conditions and not knowing if they might live or die. The top seven reasons why military spouses cheat:
1.ONE-NIGHT STAND/OPPORTUNITY–in an environment where drinking is unrestrained, personnel are young, death (themselves or their loved one) may be right around the corner, and the attitude is “what happens in the sand stays in the sand” or “my soldier will never find out”…when the opportunity presents itself, the spouse may go for it and their army buddies or army wives might cover for them.
2.EXCITEMENT AND ADVENTURE–in a life full of battle and adrenalin, or the drudgeries of caring for home and children all alone, the allure of an affair can be intense and exhilarating.
3.UNDERSTANDING AND COMPANIONSHIP–both the deployed soldier and the spouse at home find a shoulder to lean on, someone who understands what they’re going through, or a companion….and infidelity blossoms from that small seed.
4.FREEDOM/ESCAPE–wanting to escape the horrors of war or the shackles of life on base, a military spouse can easily turn to adultery as a way to “get away from it all.”
5.ATTENTION/ACKNOWLEDGMENT–they may be just another military spouse on base or just another private in the field, but in the arms of their torrid lover, they are built up so they fall into unfaithfulness.
6.REVENGE/TIT FOR TAT–they suspect their spouse was unfaithful to them and in return they seek comfort in someone else’s arms.
7.LUST/SEX–Hey the deployed soldier is away from his/her spouse for more than a year and sometimes for more than one deployment. We are sexual beings.