Deut. 23:23

Welcome to Affaircare!


There’s a lot to do here on our community, which is dedicated to committed, godly marriages.

If you are here because you just found out your spouse is having an affair, there is hope. Jeremiah 17:7 tells us: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him.”  If you are here to make your marriage stronger after an affair or to build an affair-free marriage, we welcome you!

We have MANY WAYS to help you save your marriage from an affair or help you keep your marriage affair-free:

First you will probably want to become part of our regular community, and there are three ways to do it!  You can read our weekly blog post, listen to it as a podcast via the audio link at the bottom of the page, or watch the video!

If you just heard “I love you but I’m not IN LOVE with you”, you may want to start on our “Just Found Out” page.  For more in depth information on infidelity, take a look at our “Articles” page to start to learn about affairs and infidelity–how it happens and why.  Get to know our basic concepts, our terminology, and our steps.

Next, you may want to enjoy some of the questionnaires on our “Quizzes” page. These questionnaires are specially designed to help you and your spouse learn more about yourselves and identify ways in which you are different and ways in which you compliment each other.


our book
Our new book is now available: “Caring for Your Marriage After an Affair”

You may also want to subscribe to our Affaircare site by clicking on the button up above, so you get notifications when we post a new blog post.  You may want to subscribe to our newsletter.  Or you may want to download our e-book “Caring For Your Marriage After An Affair.

If you would like to talk to the Affaircare community, we encourage you to comment on a blog post and get responses from our regulars. On the other hand if you just have a Prayer Request, just leave it here as a comment and we’d be happy to pray for you and for each other. 

If you need more specific nouthetic coaching, you can contact us many, many ways! Check out our “Contact Us” page or email us at so we can speak to you and your spouse together and help lead you back to reconciliation.

If you would like daily encouragement, bible verses about promises, daily marriage tips, Love Dare and Romance Calendar reminders, you can “follow” Affaircare on social media:


Finally, do you want to use one of our articles?  Cool!  Feel free!

Our entire site is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0), so share and adapt it.
Related articles

18 thoughts on “Affaircare”

  1. Am enjoying reading through your blog. Have you posted anything on how we may support close friends or family members dealing with challenges? Would love to hear from those who know what really helps.

  2. I have to say what I think you are doing is great! I wish this were here or that I had found it when my marriage was in trouble. My husband and I are so meant to be, After being apart for 6 months we got back together on our anniversary. I told my husband it was fate. For those that are having a ruff time hang in there and try to keep your head high and faith strong. God Bless!

  3. I think I am somewhere between stages 3 & 4. I am battling terrible thoughts and images in my mind of a number of affairs I just learned about over a 9 year period. I feel like my mind is wracked with constant turmoil, and I just want peace so bad, I can’t stand it. My husband has come back home and is seeking psychiatric help. It seems I am swinging from fighting for my sanity, trying to silence or kill of the bad thoughts and imagery that pop up just about all day long to falling into a deep depression. I have learned that there were only brief stints of time in our marriage my spouse was not having some type of an affair. When I pleaded for reconciliation, I was not aware of that. I don’t want everyone in my home to be swept under with me, or to feel as if I love them less because I have hardly any zest or joy at the moment. Sometimes I am okay. I can laugh and play with my kids and be goofy, but it seems like my “batteries” run down rather quickly, before I want to retreat and hide my head under the covers and sleep my life away (though I am not actually doing that). Do you have any suggestions on how to combat the horrible imagery or thoughts? Or how to combat the nasty grip that depression keeps trying to lay hold on me?

    1. Hurt and Lost – I have also just found out that my wife of 8 years has been cheating on me over the last 9-10 months. Unfortunately I am the one who found it out verse her coming to me with this information (I’m still concerned over her truthfulness). It started with me finding text messages to actually finding photos of herself that was she sending men to an actual video of herself. I am beyond going crazy as I have told no one about this at this time (except my Pastor). Every day and every second is a constant replay of what I’ve seen and what I know. She has never come to me and truly repented, its only when I ask her about it. She says she wants to be here and make it work, however I don’t believe that can work at this time. Did you feel the separation was an absolute must? Have things in your head calmed down? I connected with everything you have typed above and I am searching for something….I’m just devastated, crushed, embarrassed, sad, and angry and honestly have no clue what to do. The very fact I sit here typing this is crazy to me, but here I am all the same.

      1. Some quick notes:

        1) Repentance is the act of turning around, of doing the opposite of a sin (that is, instead of cheating, one becomes faithful). It is purely an action of doing the right thing rather than the wrong thing. Biblically, it means “a change of mind” – true repentance results in a change of actions. It is not the same as asking for forgiveness. Don’t confuse the two!

        (This means that your sentence “…She has never come to me and truly repented, its only when I ask her about it…” doesn’t really make a lot of sense.) Is she trying to work on the marriage? If so, is it only when you ask her to work on it? Or, does she only apologize if you bring it up (again)? Repentance means that she is honestly and earnestly doing her part to work on the marriage, rather than chaeting and breaking it down. When will you do yours?

        2) You write that you have no clue what to do.

        The Bible tells you exactly what to do. You have the immediate option of divorce, as long as you have not made an agreement with your wife to work on reconciliation (if you have, then you have made a vow before God to work on your marriage, not to destroy it).

        If you have agreed with your wife, you have several steps you must do.

        First, forgive your wife. Forgiveness means that you will never, ever use mention of the affair as a weapon in order to control her actions. It means never bringing up the affair, either to her, to others, or to yourself. We are commanded by God to forgive one another – just as He forgave us.

        Second, work on building a Christian marriage with your spouse. It is obvious that this was not the case before this crisis, a Christian marriage deals with problems the instant they appear, it does not allow sin to develop to the point where such drastic action occurs. This is the responsibility of both you and your spouse working together.

        Third: “…I don’t believe that can work at this time…”

        This is a serious statement! Notice that you have left God completely out of this scenario! Are you really declaring that God cannot make this work? Or, are you saying that you refuse God’s help? Where is your faith in God’s ability?

        God says this, specifically:

        “…No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it…” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

        He declares that he is ALWAYS there to help you come through it.

        See also Hebrews 12:4-13.

Leave a Reply